Thursday, January 30, 2014

Interesting things

Somethings I have observed and consider interesting.
Most of the private school kids seem to be only children.
Mothers with young kids in daycare/school sell the idea that the kid is learning a lot. I am sure thy do. The mothers with kids in day care/school, sell the idea that the kid needs to socialize. As a mother with kids at home or with kids playing at the park, I had to remind myself not to buy in. TR is doing excellent in kindergarten, she is loving school, loving learning and has easily made friends. I was correct that for my family, it was more beneficial to let the kids have time and freedom from the structure of school for as long as possible.
Those memories of my family and our L.A. days of fun and freedom warm my heart. L.A. was a great place to have our young family.
I work better in sunshine, but I am getting better at working in the winter months. L.A. was mostly sunshine, so it was easy to be motivated. The sun and constant visual exposure to what money offered.
My business economy was better under Bush. I understand that Obama is trying to collect all of the money but big business can afford to make loopholes and small business gets stuck in the paperwork. I feel like big business wins when small business is drowning in paperwork.
There is work to be done and living in the bay is pricey, so the work must be done.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Types of people

I may be late but I recently realized that in friendships, people have types of people they like. In relationships it is easy and acceptable to figure out your type of guy or gal. If a guy is not a woman's type, she doesn't bash him or say he is living life wrong or is human waste. When a woman is not another woman's type in a potential friendship, things can get ugly and hatred gets spewed.
In reality t.v. I like kandi, phaedra and kenya. I liked deshawn. I have never been a nene fan. I was neutral on sheree, I felt a little bad for her since her life seemed not to be what she wanted it to be.
The reason i like kandi, phaedra and kenya is they are determined business women. failure and setback does not make them hide. I like that they do not direct their lives based upon who likes them. I liked deshawn and porsha because both were unashamed in her role as a housewife. I cannot figure Cynthia out.
As much as I do not like nene, I don't relish in anything bad happening for her. I was shocked to read people on social media relishing bad things befalling Phaedra. As far as I know the most these women have done is annoy each other on national t.v., and embarrass themselves and maybe black women for the entertainment. They have done nothing to warrant someone being happy at their pain.
Too many people (I mostly mean black women) live for the come uppance and fall of other women (black women). I guess if a persons life has disappointed them maybe that person wants to know they are not alone in their misery.
I checked out twitter after my television thing and had to shake my head. Black women I do not know, salivating over the possibility that I might be suffering. My in law has a mental illness, we are still working to get her help. The people who were hoping I'd be fat, ugly, broke down or in marital conflict saw I am cute, slim, with a husband who loves and protects me and a family worth note. The women rooting for a glimpse into my suffering on social media were trying to find out something about my deceased brother in hopes that could give them opportunity to talk about me. Vultures. My family can be googled and things unrelated for criminal activity are found. I mean you are sick when you need information about a deceased person you never knew, to run down a person who does not know you.
But I get it, I'd probably be mad too, if I realized that the black girl I thought was a unicorn was actually real. There are cute black women, from a lineage of successful black people, who grew up as a have, who did well as an adult, found love with a successful and loving black man who loves the children they created within the union of marriage.
I wonder what occurs in a person's life that someone who they never met, and who won't exist if they turn off the web or t.v., can bring them to points of emotion strong enough to want to see their pain.
I have met people who I felt like did a better job at life than me, and instead of being mad at them, I use them as an inspiration to do better at my life.
Don't allow your container (your body) hold on to these negative emotions. When you dislike people who do nothing to you, dig deep and ask yourself what it is about that person that pushes your buttons. When you want to see bad happen to a person, ask yourself why? Why would another person's pain bring you pleasure and figure out how you can improve your life so that you are so content that your heart has room to want good things for others and that you gain no pleasure from the suffering of another.

Sunday, January 26, 2014


Sometimes we accept things because we do not know our options. Sometimes we focus on our options instead of seeing the good in what we have. Life is unscripted, and the options we choose can lead us to unknown paths.
TR is enjoying her new gymnastics program. When I learned her old gym did not have a scholarship for us, I took her to a different gym to try out. When we arrived at the new gym, she realized she had options and refused to return to the old gym. I told her that she could choose which gym to go to. I then learned that she did not like the woman who was set to be her new coach. The woman had made a silly threat to remind the kids to point their toes. TR was concerned about the threat.
I had never met the new coach and had been wary about her over a few things. When the gym said the scholarship deadline had passed, I was done. Mr A is a coach at a private school and knows that when a program wants you, they alert you to scholarships. TR's old gym did not tell us they existed. I heard a woman asking about them and she was told the scholarships are only for team kids. The gym said they would work with us, but we don't want to add financial strain to our life.
It's good to have options and I feel a little bad that TR did not know she had an option to choose a different gym.
School things
We visited a cute book store in the island of Alameda. The book store had a children's section and had books identified by reading levels. TR chose a book and read it in the car. Later than same evening, she read the book to me. My baby can read! She is reading at a 2nd grade level. She was not reading at the start of kindergarten. I think having a class of just 3 kids, allows her teacher to teach at a much higher level and pace.
Her school has nearly 2 hours of recess, math, music, art, history/government, daily p.e., chapel and many other course offerings. They do not spend the day teaching to tests or drilling reading. We still think young children do better when play is accessible to them, so this school fits our educational goals for our child and it is great to see how well-rounded she is and how much she loves the school day.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

ego stroke

Mr a was ill this week so i took qt to his engineering class. Mr a had not warned me that it was a real engineering class. by real i mean, you are given a design challenge and have to decide what to build, how to build it and the materials. There had to be 100 materials. math was necessary to the challenges.
I wanted to cry. I felt incapable and like my inability diminished what qt could do. my feelings were compounded because i knew mr a would have met all 5 challenges and designed fantastic stuff.
I signed qt up for this class because i knew mr a would be able to help him get the most out of it. when he took his art class i discovered all of the other moms were professional artists. i figured i would put qt in a class where he had an edge. I feel like i was his handicap.
On the bright side qt had a great time and managed to design and build things.
Last week we learned the cost for tr moving to gymnastics team. the $xk is due now. For months i had been asking the costs, so we could prepare. They held a meeting with the parents last week and gave us the price list. i asked about scholarships and was told that they were due in december and all money had been allocated.
One of TR's schoolmates does competitive gymnastics and I had been looking at her gym online. when tr's gym told us they could not assist us, i decided to visit the other gym. We have financial limits. Gymnastics tuition is almost as much as school tuition. i want qt to go to private school, so that money is allocated to his education.
Tr is 5 so upon arrival at the new gym the director immediately suggested she be placed in the advanced program for 6-8 year olds. TR was also wearing a tutu because we had just left ballet, that may have impacted her gymnast look. i looked at the woman and she read my expression and asked the problem. i told her that tr was ready to compete. she asked me what skills tr couuld do. i am not versed in the lingo, so I told TR to list her skills. tr gave a list so long that the woman took her downstairs to try out.
As jaws began dropping all around the room, I was the proud mommy. I rarely get to see tr because at her current facility the kids are away from the parents. There were gasps and people asking me her age. I was the proud mama.
The coach had tr do back handsprings on a trampoline and tr told her she preferred the floor. the coach asked me if tr could do them on floor and I took out a video of tr doing triple back handsprings on the football field and stay perfectly on the line.
We went upstairs and by the time we left the room the mothers there and coaches were discussing the 5 year old who could do amazing things and had amazing strength.
She was also invited to do the tops program. that is the program for kids who have olympic potential and gets them regional and then national attention. The coach showed me the list of skills necessary for tops and tr was in the range for 7 year olds. the other gym did not have tops or elite but we loved her coach and she was 4 so it did not matter. she has to get a new coach to move up to the team level. I credit her coach for developing tr so well.
I admit i had ballerina dreams, but tr has gymnast dreams. her favorite is the floor so I will get to watch her perform. i love the little pink sweaters over black leotards, stockings and ballet slippers.
Prior to the gymnastics try out, we stopped by a ballet class. if we switch gym programs tr will have time for ballet. All of the classes for her age were full. i explained that she is a comp,etitive gymnast and wants to dance to improve her floor routine. they gave her a chance in the 7-9 year old class. The instructor said she would have to be as mature as the 9 year olds. i told her she did gymnastics with 8 year olds so she could probably manage.
When she was done the instructor excitedly told me she was great and class was a success. she also told me to let her return and she woul continue to evaluate to be sure. that really was good for the wanna be mother to a ballerina.