Satisfied?

business is doing very well. We now have 6 people, including Mr A and me working in the business.

Today I realized that I had thought I would have multiple successful businesses at this stage of life. I am slightly disappointed in myself, with where I am. I am not weary in well doing but . . . . . .I feel I was capable of more.

I should have listened to my mother when she said to build my business consistently. In my 20's I would get a lump sum and stop working for months.

When opportunity meets preparation. I had lots of opportunity throughout my life but I was not always prepared or willing. Fortunately opportunity kept looking for me.

I am now internally motivated, which is great. I used to want to live in L.A. because being poor or middle income, amongst visible trappings of wealth, kept me motivated. It was a reminder that there is more to accomplish. It felt great to live in L.A. and be able to walk in Bloomingdale or NM knowing I could afford to buy my kids clothes and have a nice post shopping lunch.

Now we are back in the bay where luxury vehicles and visible wealth are fairly rare, but I maintain my motivation. I think the sun impacts behavior. L.A. was more concerned about appearances. I think sunny skies hada kot to do with that. I saw $100k+ cars daily in L.A. In Oakland I wonder what is wrong with the driver of such vehicles. It is so different.

This past weekend TR told me she wants my mother to move to Los Angeles. She said she will pack up and move back to L.A. if my mother moves. I asked her if she missed L.A. and she told me she misses the sun there, that Oakland does not have much sun. She said the lack of sun makes her miss her swimming and other activities and she has forgotten how to swim.

I AM

....... a competitive mom. I figure I may as well accept it and not be out of control and in denial. Last week the coach said TR has begun to cry when doing pull ups. TR told me she cried because she wanted to do 100. She said 100 is her favorite number and she wanted to do more than the other girls.

My little girl is competitive too! On the bright side, I believe you are only as good as your strongest competitor. There is another girl in TR's class who is pretty good. TR is driving herself to be better than tht girl.

I occasionally oppose some sharp attorneys and I appreciate that, because it drives me to strive for excellence. It lets me know I can operate on my toes. I also learn and sharpen my own skills.

It is rough to watch someone do something better than my kid, but I am glad my kid responds to competition by working to get better.

I want to be around the folks who are striving for their best and that is the contest where winning feels best. Even losing is digestible when the competition is fierce.