Twisted

This morning TR told me she wanted to be white.  I managed to remain standing but I am ripped to pieces on my inside.

She said everyone at her preschool is white.  I told her the various kds who are brown.  I then told her she is fortunate to be brown because the sun can make white skin sick. It may not be the best response but I was not prepared for that conversation.

I asked her why she thought about being white and she said the white girls in her gymnastics class could do more leg lifts and pull ups. She said she wouldn't be able to go to the Olympics. She is actually one of the strongest in her in class.  She also has great skill.  Her coach tells me how strong she is and her great her skills are.

I plan to ask her coach if the team discuss the Olympics.  We have never mentioned Olympics.  TR is the only chocolate girl in the team.  She is the youngest  and when they can do a skill she struggles with, she may think color is the difference between her and her teammates and not age.

In L.A. one of her favorite playmates was TR's shade of brown.  Her other favorite playmate was white, blonde and blue eyes.  The other kids were white but I think the nannies kept things very caring.

At TR's preschool, it's school.  Most of the kids knew each other from last year, and I think she feels like the new girl and she may associate that with a color.

I hope things go better at her kindergarten. I hope there are at least one or two full black kids.  If not I am prepared to homeschool.

Days like this make me miss the park.

I have been developing an increasing dislike of formal education.

 I do not agree with homework in kindergarten.  I don't like grades in kinder. Kinders are learners.  The practice of rating the quality of the work when a young child is learning, seems wrong. I do not need grades.  Show me the work.

 I think assessing progress and strengths and weakness makes sense, but focusing on what is right or
wrong and grading it, turns love of learning into a desire to be correct.

I am not interested in looking for a preschool based on racial makeup.  I like what her current
preschool offers and I like that it is part time.

The school we have applied to does not give grades or homework until 3rd grade.  The educational philosophy aligns with ours but I need to avoid a placement that will do emotional damage.  I don't mind my kid wanting to be rich, they can get that.  But I need my kids to love their skin, because they will be in it for life.