Saturday, May 26, 2012

Lots of kids

Many years ago while in my Master's program, one of my professors mentioned having 5 kids. A few students told him that was too many. I said, the more kids, the more fun. I had to explain ('case of course people thought I meant making the kids) that a house full of kids was busy, exciting and full of laughter.
Of course its a matter of preference. TR is out of state with her aunt and while I tell myself he can spend the week getting individual attention, I think living as an only child sucks. He woke up and asked to speak to his sister. When wevgt on FaceTime, TR said f QT was there he could play with her. When I go out of town I rest easier knowing they have each other. While kids need patents to survive, I believe the sibling relationship is of ajar importance. Your parents are likely to die while you have many years, but your siblings wil share memories and understand you in a way no one else can.
I look at the Braxton's and as much as they fight, they still enjoy each other. That is the crazy thing about a sibling. You are still siblings no matter how much they drive you crazy.
I always said, if I had 1 kid I would want 4 because I did not want only children. Mr A said 2-3 because kids are costly. I said 4 because 3 means someone has to ride alone on amusement park rides. Sure that is a simplistic reason but I consider such things. It's nice to have a sibling.
I enjoy the relationship TR and QT have. They have fun together and I don't need to find playmates. They are close enough in age to share the same friends. It's a lot of fun for me. It's also work but most good thins ake effort.
TR is in Georgia with my sister, visiting the offspring ov my grandmother's sister and brother. The blessing of lots of kids keeps on giving through generations. TR also has a shopping habit, she loves to dress up, loves to paint her nails, travel, dine at nice restaurants and put lip gloss on. These are things that don't matter to me (except dining, I love fine dining and good food) TR is fortunate to have an aunt who loves the girly things in life and is old enough to indulge her in those things.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012


We spoke to TR on FaceTime last night. She fancies herself a doctor so my mom bought her two boxes of bandages. She showed us her new toothpaste and toothbrush and See's Candies Butterscotch suckers. My mom rationed our candy when we were kids but she keeps TR stocked with candy. We had bedtimes but my mother says TR does not have school or a job and thinks its near abuse to give her a bedtime.
I don't get it. She used to be hot when my grandparents gave us everything we wanted including too much money and candy. Now she is doing the same stuff.
TR will be gone 4 full days. My mother sent an obscene amount of money and told my sister to buy her what she wanted. TR already has a slight shopping habit and my sister has a full fledged shopping habit, so I know the money can be spent. Mr A and I spent a long weekend in Wine country and even with our 4 store hotel, we did not spend as much as she sent for TR.
I guess being the oldest grand kid has its benefits. My mom is the oldest grand kid and her grandmother and aunts and uncles spoiled her greatly. Even now, her younger cousins know if she s on board everyone else will get on board. She is the person who everyone has made executor, power of attorney, etc. I guess TR is being groomed as the oldest. You get all the benefits and you get the burdens.
I plan to devote my full work day to work. I have slacked because I have not felt well. Mr A and I are about to move and our housing expenses will more than double. More than double and we'll only get 1 extra bedroom. Amazing. Now is not the slack off.
TR just asked for an airplane for her next birthday. I want a plane too. At least she has figured out the benefits of private planes at 4. She is asking me if I have money and who has money if I don't. She likes to collect money.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Money and the kids

My kids seem to understand what money is. Yesterday the ice cream truck stopped by the park. QT asked for ice cream and I told him 'we can't get ice cream." He said, 'no money?". I told him, nope I had not brought any money. I need to better about carrying money. I tend to let Mr A purchase everything so I do not have to balance my accounts. TR is taking a cross country trip with my sister. She asked me why I wasn't going. I told her I did not have a ticket. She asked me if she had a plane ticket. I told her she did have ticket. She said, "so that means I have money?". She was excited about that. She told me she had left her wallet at home. I told her to get some money from "momma". QT really wanted to go on the trip but I told him my sister probably couldn't manage two kids and he could go when he is 3. It is rough being the youngest. I remember getting left because I was too young. I still think I was old enough to go but I understand everyone is not willing to be driven crazy by a bunch of kids. I also know one of my kids feels linke 2, so taking 2 kids is like taking 4. My mom's cousin asked my mom's uncle if the boy was as active as the girl. My uncle said yes. My mom's cousin then looked at me and say, oh wow. The kids aren't bad, but they are busy. My cousins and mom's aunt had so much fun with TR that they invited her to visit them this weekend. So she went. The last time she saw them she had them doing each other's nails and hair. My cousin said at midnight TR walked into their bedroom and asked why the light was off. My cousin said, " because i'm old and i'm tired." The kids get lots of invitations. I figure if they were bad, people would not extend personal invitations. My mom say's the kids are very well behaved when I am not around. She says they do not do the things I tell her they do. I keep telling people the kids are trying to kill us ( the parents). TR will get to spend a few days with a lot of relatives and talk to them about whatever her 4 year old mind is pondering. QT was crying about not going out the trip and I told him we were going to a festival this weekend. He said, "I want to go to a festival in Georgia." my poor little guy.

Sunday, May 20, 2012


My grandmother has a neighbor that she called Sharon. One day my mom went to that neighbor's home and called her Sharon. The neighbor told my mother her name was Shu-Ron. My mom apologized and told the woman she would tell my grandmother. The neighbor said it was okay, because her own mother also called her Sharon.
Isn't what your mother's pronounciation of your name, generally the correct pronounciation?
My mom's supervisor was named "Mr. Jones". She thought his name was "Mr. Smith.". One day when I was subbing she told me to ask him some questions. She had told him I would be looking for him. I saw the man she described and asked, are you, Mr. Smith? He said no. Are you V's daughter? I said yes and asked how he knew. He said because my name is Jones but your mom always calls me Smith. I told him I would correct her.
She had been calling the man the wrong name for years and he just answered.
TR passed her swim test. They threw her in the deep water, she came up and back floated for 10 seconds. Now she will be learning the breaststroke and swimming across the pool. QT is still in level 2. He does not like to back float. He will do it, but he prefers to swim eyes first. His teacher says he is very advanced for his age. Since survival is the method he needs to pass to move on, he'll have to back float. He has been demanding his green cap, which signifies the next level. I told him what he has to do. Maybe he will make it happen so he can get to the next swim level
The kids got vaccinations last week. The kids turned on the total drama after testing their shots. The nurse gave them extra stickers. I think they put an extra guilt trip on her. When we got in the car, TR asked QT if he was upset that the doctor in blue popped him. He said, "no, I am mad". I love listening to their conversations.
Last week I took the kids to Labrea Tarpits. QT loved it. TR was very sad after the lion king, so the big cats turned her off. They loved the fish and turtles and waterfall. When we got outside, TR asked me where the snacks were. I had a little bit, but their nanny has made them believe they should have daily picnics. TR wanted to sit on the grass and eat. They had eaten before leaving home. Next time I will be sure to pack the blanket since the kids think they are supposed to lay out and relax.
When I visit them at the park, I ponder being a nanny or getting one for myself. It must be nice.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Queen for a Day

TR had a fantastic 4th birthday. She had her princess tea party at a dollhouse. All of her guests were timely. I had sent notes of the time schedule. The kids arrivedadwent into a too full of dresses. They picked out the princess or party dress and shoes they wanted. They then had ther nails painted, make-up and hair done ad chose jewelry. They then has a fashion show. QT was a fireman ad refused to do the fashion show.
After the fashion show the kids went to the tea party. TR had the head chair was was high aced and covered in faux jewels and gold fabric. Every kid had their own minintea set filled with pink lemonade and veggies and gapes to snack on, while lunch was prepared. Lunch arrived on 3 tiered plates. They had mini sandwiches and cheese pizza.
The kids had a wonderful time. At one point they began to chant TR, TR, TR. Dessert came, the birthday song was sung and it was silence while they ate the sweets.
The kids finished dessert, chatted and headed to change out of their princess outfits and get parting gifts and fashion show photos. The kids were beaming as they left the party and hugging each other and the arents. TR said it was the best birthday EVER.
The next day we went bowling, with one of TR's park friends, the friend's parents and son. We did not do formal teams but QT bowled 100, with the 2nd highest points and Mr A won. My 2 year old bowled a 100, his very first time bowling. It was great fun.
TR's friend will be starting at one of the top private schools in L.A. If we were staying here it would be cool because TR would attend a different top private school and they would expand their circle. But we are moving. The director of our dream school has gathered a list of the top private schools in the bay. She is on the accreditation committee and attends conferences to share information about the schools. So if we will be moving and unable to attend the dream school, at least we have a list to go by when we choose bay area schools.
We might end up at a religious school. The bay is so liberal and while I believe in tolerance, I do not want my kids to be bombarded with liberal ideals of anything. Schools focus on social issues more than academics. There was a lesbian student who made an advance on a devout Christian girl at a high school in L.A. The girl declined the advance and said she does not do that. The lesbian girl was upset about the rejection and told an administrator. The administrator called the Christian girl to the office and counseled her on acceptance.
I don't undstand that. If a boy had hit on her and she said no, would she be counseled on acceptance? Was the girl supposed to accept a date? I don't want that, so we might have to choose a religious school and avoid CA's attempt to teach kids about sexual lifestyles.
I will be glad when the news returns to the economy and these military operations that we are in. What's going on with the blind man in China, or the prisoners who were secretly released or unrest in Syria.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Daddy Dearest

My kiddies look so small in Mr A.'s arms. When I hold them they seem big. When he holds them, I remember they are babies.
I did not have that daddy experience with my father. He never soothed my boo boos or tossed me in the air and tickled me until I collapsed in silly giggles. My parents were divorced and my father has always been formal. Maybe the war made him that way. He wore slacks, dress shoes and collared, button down shirts, even on Saturdays. Now he wears dress shoes, slacks and polo shirts, perhaps that is his relaxed style.
My grandfather was the loving father to us. He tickled, threw us in the air, taught us to ride Ike's, pulled teeth, bandaged boo boos and carried our sleeping bodies inside and into bed. Then he would go home.
My kids go to sleep after their daddy tucks them in and they awake to his cuddle. He lives with them. Every now and again I see Mr A holding TR and speaking softly and I have an ache for that missing experience. I wonder how women intentionally deny their child the chance to have a relationship with a loving father. The best education and access can't replace knowing daddy wants to be with you.
I spoke to someone and I said how much my kids love it when their dad tosses them in the air. She said she considers having kids before her clock stops and that mothers have arms too. We were missing each other. I value the relationship. I can substitute arms but not the innate difference of what a man offers to a child.
it's nothing I can understand. I wanted kids as a part of a family, not as something to have. Maybe my parents divorce and experiencing my grandparents marriage made me see a different side. My mother was educated, owned her home mortgae free and loved us. We had a great life and our father was involved but I think it's nice to have2 parents. I actually don't know why I need to ponder this. It takes a man and a woman to create a child so it's natura that both are needed to love that child. c

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Business of family

Yes I stole my title from the theme song for ray j and brandy's reality show. Mr A has been retained as my business manager. He has implemented staff meetings which I am forced to attend. Fortunately they are telephonic but I still attend and participate. They are productive and force me to keep my calendar updated and my work on task.

Being self-employed only works for the self-motivated. Sometimes I have my lazy spells and it's bad for business. The meetings help me not sink too deep into the lazy spell.

TR and QT are employed as my printer runners. When I print things, t hey pick it up off the printer ad deliver it to my desk. They are usually good employees but one day, I told them lunch was ready and my paper did not make it to my desk. That is a risk of employing people who are 2 and 3 years old.

 I think TR is a budding business woman. She respects customers. She likes to ring people up and play with play money, behind cash registers. She knows if we are in a business, that the people who walk in are customers and she will sometimes tell a small business owner that a customer has arrived. At home she gets her laptop and tells me she is doing work.

She also pretends she is a teacher. We were at the park one day and I heard a kindergartner playing teacher, she was so mean as teacher. She put the little kids in time out jail if they broke rules. She fussed and I figured her teacher is mean. TR was 2 and was horrified. Fortunately when she gt sent to jail she ran to me. One 2 year old stayed in jail, even when the game ended. When I hear TR playing teacher, she uses encouraging and affirming language. I take that to mean her nanny's teacher is that way. When TR plays teacher, she tells QT what a great job he is doing and that she loves his work. TR tells him to take his time and she speaks so sweetly to him, while explaining how to do the project.

 I hope when we move our house has a extra room, so that we can have a room function as my office and the dis art room. Whether my kids choose art or anything else as a career, I hope they own the busiess they work for. I am sleepy.