Saturday, January 28, 2012

Non Stop

I've been working non stop and very hard the last few weeks. I got my first class action filed, which means I will be working super hard the next few years.

I had to oppose a summary judgment motion and I filed it this week. I had 14 days to oppose a motion that will either kill my case or allow it to move forward to trial. Talk about pressure! Because the case is in federal court and we file online, the defendant filed its motion at a few minutes before midnight on the last date they could file it.

I was up checking my email. I filed a summary judgment motion against their defenses before Christmas. They had 14 days to respond. I wonder if they were mad at me for perhaps making them work around the holidays.

This case is important to me for a variety of reasons. It is an race, age and disability discrimination case. Lots of money has been spent and I have reduced other income producing work to do this case. The case was filed before QT was born.

I am pleased I did all that expensive, time-consuming discovery because it came in handy to oppose their motion. The defendants did not direct its motion to all of my causes of action.

I was accidentally very strategic iin this case. I plan to purposely implement those accidental strategies on purpose in the future.

In other things, I am taking TR to her first cooking class. She made cornbread recently and enjoyed it. She used her toddler baking supplies. She has made pizza dough and pizza in the paste so now we are stepping it up a bit. I'm looking forward to it.

I will also return to my weekly meal planning. It's hard to wonder what to make for dinner.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Dues

In life we must pay our dues.

These are my January dues

~$400 for the Bar. The bar that takes my money so I can legally practice law.
~sorority dues. Can't recall the amount
~$200 to be admitted to District Court Eastern Division. Robbery!
~$275 Museum Family Membership- we utilize that one, so I do not mind that check
-$100? for P.O. Box

That is all I can think of right now. I feel like we've paid other yearly dues but I cannot recall what they are. Lots of folks get Christmas in January. It costs to do business, it costs to be social.

I do have 2 coupons for free Chic Fil A sandwhiches. That is almost a $10 savings which helps defray the cost of those dues.

For the past few weeks, I lost work motivation. It finally returned. Joy! I enjoy my work, like super duper love it but sometimes I just need a break. The work continues to pile up so then I get overwhelmed with what I need to do. Then I start doing it and realize it isn't that much. I can just knock it out.

I think it will be better once I get an assistant in my office space. I took Mr A office space touring with me. I was going to be frugal and go with space in Koreatown but for whatever reason the experience was awful. He asked more questions then I did and we decided to go with the more pricey space. You really get what you pay for.

Most of the low cost spaces shared the leasing agent by the name of Jamison Realty. I have no idea how any of those space get leased. I guess people just stop at the price.

We went to one building and the front desk woman (black) was 30 minutes later than her posted lunch sign and arrived with food. She is supposed to accept packages and transfer calls, greet guests but if she isn't there then she can't do it.

She tried to get rid of us and told us there was office space on Crenshaw. I guess she figured blacks shouldn't mingle with Koreans.

Anyway it looks like I'll be taking up space in the opposite direction and getting space in a high rise toward Beverly Hills. I'm looking forward to getting TR's opinion on the space. I'll let her bring her laptop and do work. She'll see that Mommy really does work.

The space is close enough to walk or jog to and a quick bus ride. It just in a busier part of the city. One reason I've decided to go with more expensive space is I want staff to feel like they are somewhere. The energy was different in the shiny high rise. I want my staff to have the opportunity to feed off of that professional energy.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Free Your Mind

Once I accepted that my mother is likely not pining away for the A clan, I was able to assess my own desire on where we should live.

I found a few schools (in the bay) with the progressive, playbased, no teaching to tests, developing critical thinking philosophy. We are going to tour. Mr A has a job/coaching offer at a great private school in the bay. Potential free high school tuition for 2 kids. In today's dollars that is about 200k.

One thing we like about the Los Angeles school is its belief that they have to prepare children for a future in which the problems they needed to solve may not yet exist. One of the bay area schools has the same goal. Whether the kids goals include a job that currently exists or one that does not, we are big on critical thinking and understanding how to problem solve and develop problem solving processes. Let them think.

I am willing to spend a lot educating my kids, even if they decide to become non professionals. I'd prefer they be business owners, but I think education is a benefit for life, not just to prepare for a future job. I fear the way public schools in CA have become, will make them hate learning. I want them to enjoy their curiousity and not be forced to sit still, be quiet and memorize.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

In search of......

love and acceptance.

Yesterday my mother took the kids on an errand. While she was gone Mr A and I went to get cheese steak. My mom arrived home while we were out, she called me and asked how long we'd be and I told her 15 minutes because we were getting food. She told me she was going to drop the kids off to us. I mentioned the lack of a car seat in our car. She arrived and TR was sound asleep and QT was half-sleep.

I asked where she was going and she said back home. Mr. A told her we were going home to and asked if she could drive TR so we wouldn't have to wake her and move her car seat.

I was very hurt that she 1)thought we were trying to stick her with the kids 2) that she was so unwilling to watch them that she'd drive them away from home to a mall to get rid of them. I have never snuck off and left her with the kids so I'm not sure why she thought I'd start.

I wonder if she hates me, the kids or both. The only reason I want to move to Oakland is so my kids can be close to her but if visiting is an indication of what living here would be like, she wouldn't want to be bothered too often.

Last night, while still hurt about the mall drop off, I accepted some realities. I've been slowly realizing I needed to accept what is but last night I decided to accept, let go and move forward.

I feel like the only thing my mother approves of, that relates to me is, my work. I would like her to feel that my being married with kids was of some value but I don't think that is value to her. That hurts a lot!

I have to accept what is and stop wanting what is not. My mother is not affectionate. She loves her kids in her own way but sometimes kids need outward expressions of love.

I realize that I am trapped in the stress of trying to please and be accepted by her but that acceptance only comes as it relates to my work. I'm too old to keep trying to be accepted by my mother. I'll just take what she is offering. I'll likely never know why she is who she is.

It's so odd to me. I hear mothers harassing their kids to get married and have kids but me and Mr A have mothers who treat us as if we let them down by marrying and having a family. I do NOT get it!

I think a big part is we moved away from them both and try to live as a united couple and do what works best for us. If we were battling each other to do what our mothers wanted they'd be happy. They'd be even happier if we would leave each other.
I don't get it!

I don't know what I expected. I didn't expect cartwheels but I didn't expect we'd have mothers who hated us as a couple.

Mr A tries so hard to be a part of my family. He works very hard. I don't try at all with his mom's side. I don't have the patience he does. Now that I see my mother is against us, I'll be reducing our interactions.

I have been working on not repeating her actions on my own kids. I am affectionate so I tell my kids I love them and I hug and kiss them. They hug and kiss each other. One of the oddest things to me, is never really hugging my siblings. My mother is an only child and doesn' really like hugging and kissing anyone. When I see siblings display affection towards each other I enjoy it.

My mother is a perfectionist and super organized and timely. I guess she is too busy getting business done, to love on folks. Or maybe her perfectionism is how she expresses love.

I'm just going to work on accepting and appreciating who she is and not being disappointed that she does not love me the way I would want to be loved.