Friday, October 29, 2010

I did it!

TR loves to say, "I did it!" We praise her for accomplishing the task she set out to complete.

After months of review I finally submitted TR's preschool application. It was hard to let it go, but I wanted to get it in, well before the deadline.

TR's nanny is about the cost of a year tuition. But we will have the additional expense of a nanny for QT.

School for 2 kids will exceed our housing costs. TR's nanny nearly equals our housing costs.

Maybe we should buy our Spanish Style home now. Since our income seems to increase based on what we need, we might be limiting our income growth.

I dunno. I need a nap.

Big Plans

I had big plans for today.

I have discovered that the day runs smoother when I get the kids out of the house. As much as I like to relax at home, they need to do stuff to make them tired.

Today I had planned to go to art, then home for naps, the science center, then home for naps and then an evening out. I was hoping we could make it to Sephora.

TR got up at 6:30, we ate breakfast around 8:30/9 and she headed to our bedroom and told me she wanted to watch the Backyardigans.

I showered, dressed, put make up on and told her we were leaving. She asked me for a pillow, she fluffed it, pulled a blanket over her and got comfortable. It is nearly 3 p.m. and we have not left home.

These days go fast. TR will be in school soon and won't have the freedom to decide to spend a day in bed. I try to let her be the master of her day.

We tend to have busy days so she may really need this rest. I guess even 2 year olds want a day to do nothing.

Yesterday evening we hit a Pumpkin Patch in West Hollywood. It was fun. The kids seemed to enjoy the atmosphere. We bought tickets but TR did not want to get on any of the rides.

I went to Whole Foods yesterday and was a little more deliberate in my meat choices. The prices weren't that bad. They were good considering the animals aren't drugged up and fed crap.

Breakfast sausage was 4.99 a pound, ground beef was 3.99 per pound, pork chops were 4.99 a pound (I think). I got a bag of frozen chicken breast for 9.99.

I eventually want to do a budget to figure out our weekly grocery expense. There is always more to do.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Housekeeping

Divorced men- you may think I have something against them. My father had been divorced
for some years before my mom married him. He is over 10 years older than she.

His parents stayed married until death and her parents stayed married til death. Both sets of both of their grandparents were married until death. I am from a long long line of married people and fathers who headed households. Based on statistics my parents should have remained married.
But when you marry a divorced person, you are marrying a person who sees divorce over resolution.

My father has been married at least 3 more times. I don't try to keep track. I do not understand why
women continue to marry him. My mom was wife 2. Wife 4 should have learned from 1, 2 and 3.

My home life needs to run efficiently. I am working on it. It has to be cheaper than the way I am running
things now. The good thing about Mr A. being gone most of the dang day is I can figure out what works for me.
Involving him in day to day decisions is work. For some reason I like
to keep him informed of every detail. I am ending that. I will just share the big picture and let him ask me the
details.

We have been married 4.5 years and while I
originally was not too gung ho on roles, roles
make life a lot more smooth. I suspect its
the addition of children that make roles
necessary.

While we were childless the benefit of roles remained
fuzzy.

I just need to get my life organized. This day to day chaos
messes with my mind.

How do working couples survive.

I am exhausted from all that it takes to run a family.
If both the husband and wife are working how do they get everything done
and still relax after work?

Or is it my flexibility that makes things rough for me?

I get mad at Mr A for being gone from 7 til 6 or so most nights. I realize
that is a normal work day for most professionals.

I had to run through the airport this week. I think that run-in flip flops- caused me a chest cold.
I didn't have to run but that evil airline was calling my name. The plane had not started boarding.

When I arrived at the gate I coughed for the next 30 minutes. I may go to the doctor Friday if I don't get better.
I would hate for that run to kill me.

Heauxes.

I am amazed by the number and type of woman wiling to be the other woman.
Whether her goal is to take the wife's place or be the side piece, I
am amazed that some women don't want their own man.

I would not want a divorced man because I want to be 'the' wife.
I am greedy and possessive and if I was 2nd wife or side piece I would
have to tamper my need to be the only and I would be angry.
I actually would not be angry because I would not do it.

I realize many women delude themselves into believing they are
rescuing an unhappy man. Whatever.......

This past summer a teacher developed a crush on Mr A.
I tell him not to get me killed by some crazy woman who thinks
I am in the way of their true love.

He has to be standoffish with these hungry women. This chick was
nowhere near pretty so he thought she would know he could not be interested. I told him it's better to be friends
with pretty women because they are accustomed to
men being nice. They barely notice. Be nice to an unpretty
and she feels special.

One day I stopped by football practice and I saw this hungry
teacher walking towards the field. She could not see me but I saw
that her full attention was on Mr A.

When she got to the field I popped up and spoke to her. That nut
mumbled something about her nephew and walked/ran
away.

Anyway Mr A accepted that she was flirting. His guy friend agreed. I think
Mr A is hilarious but his friend said she just went overboard
laughing at his jokes.

The woman had been texting him under the guise of
needing advice on her nephew.

I do not understand the mind or sickness of a woman who
will look the wife in her face or come into my home
and be having wrong thoughts toward a married man.

I have never been that type of person.

Then I made him watch an episode on nightlife about a
female teacher who killed the fiancé of a basketball coach
because the teacher wanted the man.

So yes, I am the wife who does not go for husbands having
women friends. The majority of women are sane and
require their own man, but it only takes one crazy
woman to decide to kill me and my kids and start her
fantasy life.

This is also why I do not befriend any males. People
are just too crazy.

I trust Mr A with my life. If I did not I would be sleep deprived
because I would not sleep next to a person I could not rest
with.

I know he is committed to keeping our marriage and family
healthy and happy.

But it does not feel good as a woman, a mother, a married
woman, a human being to know there are people
who would be willing to take an axe to families so they
can have a mate. It's disgusting!

Reason #10 I will not listen to Alicia Keys on the radio.

Monday, October 25, 2010

A Team

Business

Mr A said the company liked our training and wants us to do another in January. Good stuff! As we were leaving we said we would love to do 1 of those a month. One would cover all of our bills and we'd still have the income from both of our jobs.

Comfort- warning: this may be depressing

I watched the 60 minutes piece last night. It was called 99 weeks. Its about unemployment in this country and it focused on Silicon Valley.video


One of the comments on the clip noted that all the people were older. I think a lot of age discrimination is occurring. The late 40-50 year old people bought in fully and I think were the generation that helped destroy this country via consumerism, demanding the cheapest products and little saving. Wages decreased on their watch and use of credit increased. The money they weren't making was replaced by the credit they could get.

My children will be the generation of builders because I think the rest of us will have to exist in the ashes of a failed country.

I'm not stressing or worried but I believe investing in U.S. markets will not secure any workers' retirement. It will ensure the CEO and owners retirement.

How can companies last? The U.S. produces little to nothing. We are in debt and more of our labor continues to exist overseas. If the people living here have no jobs, they can not consume, if consumption goes down, markets fail and poof goes the stocks.

Our government is printing money. I do not understand how this country continues to function.

I can't blame Obama or Bush. Bush walked in while the country was using housing as an economic booster. People were truly believing that they could borrow money, buy property and be wealthy. The housing mess just delayed the inevitable. Obama walked in after that business model burned.

These are just my random wonderings. I have no expertise but I did take a class called political economies of industrial societies. I want to be in proper position and have the available cash for the building part.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Team A

Mr A and I did a training in San Francisco yesterday. It was fun and we were great.

We had 2 days notice to tailor our training to the group we were presenting to. We got up early Thursday and we flew into Oakland, with the kids. It was not a simple training, because the group we presented to had a LOT going on.

Mr A and I are definitely a good team. As a hiring manager in his corporate life and as an officer in the military he had to deal with diversity training and protecting against harassment and discrimination in hiring and supervising employees. I represent people who have discrimination claims. He provides a business perspective and I provide a legal perspective. Great team.

The client is across 7 states so we'll be doing a follow up letter to let them know we are available to provide other trainings.

I could not bring myself to watch RHODC. They all disgust me. The Salahi's are a mess but they didn't break into the White House. They walked in and they were announced. They put everyone on notice of a weakness in White House security. Now they prez knows to keep an eye on the folks protecting him. I do not believe that breach was an accident. How would crashers be announced and allowed to walk in the procession. Something else was going on that no one will talk about.

I watched CNN Almighty Debt. I caught it late but I think the the family under foreclosure, refinanced their house until it was not affordable. I am still trying to understand how people thought that would work. Did they think they would get an income increase to pay off the new note. Did they bank the money.

It's unfortunate that so many people, of all races, bought in. We helped transfer a lot of wealth during that home buying, easy lending craze.

Now I'm watching Kids and Race. Its upsetting. I don't want my kids growing up thinking white is right. As much as I want that private school I don't want TR thinking the lighter races have the good stuff. I don't want her to go to school with kids thinking black is bad.

I might be the mom saying light people need tans. White people aren't changing so I need to produce some black bias. I ain't shame to say it.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Boys and Girls

I have the kids carseats positioned side by side in the car.

They can reach each other. It's a good and bad thing. If QT is crying TR
will hold his hand and talk to him. Mr A had originally put the seats apart
and that seemed to bother TR. She is protective of little guy.

Yesterday she was taking things away from him and hollering 'mine'.

She had an empty Capri sun pouch and she gave it to me to put away.
I gave it to QT to hold. She said it was hers and managed to get it from him.
He wailed. His feelings were hurt. She dropped it on the floor.

I told Mr A to give me another empty one and he did. TR got that too and QT cried some
more.

I asked Mr A why she does such things. She doesn't want the thing but she does
not want QT to have it.

Mr A said it's because she is a woman. Men go out of
their way to nurture everybody and make sure people
have what they want and are happy. Women don't want
something but they don't want anyone else to have it either.

Lol. I had to laugh. I have seen the fairer sex run from a guy
and as soon as he gets a girl to show interest the girl who ran
comes back around and possessive.

This is reason number x that I would not have married
or dated a man with girl best friends. I used to get so
annoyed when I heard women complaining about the wife
of their male friend. They wanted to have input
into the relationship. I remember overhearing one of those conversations
and my cousin expressed to the speaker exactly what
I was thinking.

If the girl-friend felt such ownership of that man she
should have got with him.

Most friends give their friend time to settle into married
life. But I notice the women want immediate acknowledgement
from their male friend once he marries.

Those are just my observations and it still
pisses me off when women act like they own
some man who they claim was/ is just a friend.

Do men do that too?

Nanny-gate

It's good when the people providing care for your child
are smart and creative. There is a big difference between
babysitting and child care. The nanny is teaching TR
a bunch and I hear them discussing a lot of things.

In my line of work I have learned how lots of things I
used to think was just play are fundamental.

My little girl can catch like she had been doing it all her life.
She even rode a tricycle and knew how to steer. I need to
ask the nanny if she learned that at the park.

My mom has a stationary bicycle and TR gets on that
and pretends to ride. Her feet don't reach both pedals. I saw
her ride the trike and was wondering if people are taught
or do they just know. She has been asking for a bike so maybe
that will be a Christmas gift for her.

Good stuff.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Stuff

Hallow Ween

I feel like a child's costume is a reflection of the mother. Am I creative or am I the mom who buys a mask and suit and sends my kid to look like a reflection of a mass produced world.

Last year TR was an 80's dancer. I was pleased that people recognized her costume. She wore a mohawk with a long ribbon around her head, an off the shoulder shirt, tights, leg warmers and bracelets.

This year I don't know what to do.

Maybe a beetle or a butterfly or an ant? I think she is going to a party this year so I must do something cute and creative.

Child Care

I had a meeting yesterday. I went to the bank after the meeting. Right before I got home TR had fallen. I got home to a little girl with deep gashes in her inner lip. That darn bank stop! Of course I side eyed the nanny. I quizzed TR on what happened and she said she was jumping in the chair and fell. She was eating a popsicle and licking a cookie when I walked in/

Now she has a swollen lip. My poor little baby.

Looking at her lip makes me realize that God knows how to apportion features. Full lips throw off her facial symmetry.

Mr A came home early after I called him and TR was screaming bloody murder. She was jumping in QT's play pen and her chin bumped my shoulder as I pulled her out. QT was in the playpen and I didn't want him squashed. The bump caused her mouth to bleed again.

I am glad he came home. I needed the support even if TR did not.

Size

I am comfortably in a size 6. It fits loose. Soon I will be back to size 4. I did a brief shopping trip on Sunday and did not leave the dressing room disgusted. I was actually like some more pilates will have me ready for everything.

Some people slack off in the winter, as if Spring and Summer won't be back.

Ada told me the ladies at the park commented that I was skinny. I feel great to be a 2x mommy and slim. I don't look good to have 2 kids, I look good. Well I still have this belly battle but in time, I'll get it all together.

I went to shopping with my cousin a couple of weeks ago and the store clerks were commenting that my kids were hers. She is childless and was offended that people thought she could have kids. Since I was pushing the both of them in a stroller, I was a bit flattered that they figured I was just pushing them.

I have a dress and shoes ready for preschool interviews.

I'm sure there is more going on in my world but I need to get back to work.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Payroll

I can't stop. I can but I've realized I have a few people- other than my children- relying on me to make money.

A nanny, an assistant, an advocate and an attorney. If I make money they make money. It's pressure because I don't want my lazy to be the reason others have to look for other work. If I was dead, they would have to look for new work but I'm alive.

One of Mr A's friend is using us as his model. The friend is encouraging his attorney girlfriend to escape corporate slavery and build a business. He will help sustain her while she is building. Once her business is built, then he can escape corporate slavery and build a business.

So I'm sharing all the info I can as she makes the decision to transition.

That is pressure too. I can't let the people down who we may be an example to. So Mr. A and I have to flourish. Most importantly I want my kids to grow up enjoying both parents. I love when TR gets up and starts saying 'DAA-E, DAA-E." Then she squeals as he swoops her up.

I was hot as hot grits at Mr A on Thursday. We had a conflict in schedule and he ended up staying at his event until the end and I missed mine. If he had come home early, I could have arrive at mine late.

I'm still offended by it but I'm not flaming mad.

I told him he should be happy that the main reason his wife gets mad at him- is because I want more time. I could be mad for a variety of reasons but my reason is I like hanging out with him and being near him and I don't get enough of that.

I personally don't understand why men get married and then allow other activities to consume their time. A spouse is time consuming enough.

I talked bad about women who had a husband who went to happy hour after work or did stuff to delay their getting home. And now that is my story. Of course some women want their husband to delay coming home. They enjoy time alone.

I'm not that wife. When I lived alone I would spend most nights at my mom's because I prefer company. I realized that living alone was a waste of my money.

I think I made some money today. More specifically one of the folks on my payroll made us (them and me) some money. Having people to help with the work is worth it.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Nighttime

On Monday, TR had tree sap and sand on her feet from the park.
I got out the foot bath gave her a foot soak. She loved it and the bubbles.

I decided to give myself a foot bath. I had herbal tea, a foot bath, my iPod touch and
about 20 minutes of relax time. It was great for mind, body and spirit.

I don't get much downtime. Kids are full time and seem to think
mommy lives to be at their beck and call.

I don't get to drop kids at day care and pick them
up after work. I am here ALL day and even with a nanny
if a kid sees mommy, mommy is on duty.

It would surely be less stressful if I had no work.
I could hang out and my brain would not be thinking
about work I am falling behind on. When I am working
My brain is thinking about the kid time I am missing out
on.

I am probably near collapse.

Tonight after dinner I headed to the grocery store.
I stocked up on Ocean Spray while it's on sale.

I picked up some small pumpkins. TR and I made faces on ours.
Mr A will do his later. We plan to go to a pumpkin patch and
choose a pumpkin.

This is the kind of stuff that I really enjoy as a parent.
There is so much to share with and expose a child to.

It's 9:13 and I am beat. The kids are asleep and I am on
my way.

29 months - Part II

My earlier post was about TR and her being 29 months. I got distracted.

When she was born I was checking baby milestones every week. She was a preemie, so the doctors said she would be at her corrected age. She stayed ahead of her corrected age and her actual age so I eventually quit checking.

When she was born and I was quizzing the doctors Mr A asked me if I was worried she might have delays. I thought about it and told him the two of us were smart and I mentally reviewed all of my cases and realized non of my clients were preemies. So I didn't associate being a preemie with developmental delays.

I'm a semi anti vaccine mom. She can get the ones I got. I don't trust the government or pharma. I think they are experimenting on babies and I will exist in my paranoia.

I believe TR has a good brain. Sometimes as a parent you don't notice it until people comment.

I think she is amazing at all times because I remember a baby who was born unable to walk, talk or roll over. When I consider all that 29 months has brought, it is AMAZing.
Babies are amazing.

I am over being upset with Mr. A. I took a long hot shower, a walk to the park and then QT and I went to Trader Joe's and Ralphs.

While I was out of town a few weeks ago, Mr A went and got my land rover. Its beautiful and how can I stay mad? Well I could...... but I did decide today to find new health insurance. I shouldn't beat up on him because he is not available right when I want. I considered going up to the school and asking why he did not answer my call, but my cooler mind prevailed. I also realized I had to be home or pay the nanny for extra time.

So when he gets home we will have a nice dinner and I will give him one of my instant forgiveness coupons- since I sent s text during my anger.

I really think having kids short circuits the mind.

29 months

I am currently in a state of extreme pissitivity.

I am trying to switch the kids health insurance to a military one. The people will not talk to me. I called and held for 20 minutes, when I got a human I called Mr A and. ... . ... . you guessed it F-ING FOOTBALL. I guess he is busy with those kids and can't answer. He won't be home to near 5 and of course the office closes at 5.

He didn't answer! I had spoke with him and told him I'd be calling with the benefits people.

The lovely health reform bill is causing private insurance to stop insuring kids, so..... I would like to have an option of some sort. f-ing football, I tell you.

Its okay though. I'm not mad at football. If it wasn't football it would be something else that would occupy his time.

I put some of TR's artwork on the wall.

Monday, October 11, 2010

To Be Rich

It should be no secret. I want to be wealthy. I don't want to retire in comfort I want to live with the financial ability to have excess.

I'm not ashamed to admit this. I'm not ashamed to want more than comfort.

The private school fair made me realize that anyone can be wealthy. Its not the smart* people its the people with drive and commitment. I think smarter people may be at a disadvantage because they can apply for a pretty salaried job and feel superior because they have business cards from a name brand corporation. The driven people are running their own business and keeping a larger percentage of what they earn.

I read once that if your company is paying you 100k, you are making them a million.

When my cousin was over Friday, she asked me if law school was one of my best decisions. I told her it was. She remembered that I had wanted to drop out during the first year. And that I questioned practicing.

It took a while for me to want to practice but really I am glad I did.

I can work from home, when I have a profession that allows a means of self-employed comfort. But I am stepping it up because I want to be wealthy.

I need to go to places like Curtis school, to remind myself that there is more to life than being comfort. This is a reason I wanted to live in L.A. If I live in a city where my finances put me in the top of the middle I'd get comfortable.

I don't want to be comfortable, I want to remain motivated and passionate.

My cousin was telling me her dream would be to be at home working and taking care of her kids. I told her how hard it is. She then went into how hard it is for her friends to get up and drop kids at day care, etc.

I can see that. The grass is always greener....... on the side you water most.

Anyway, I am over here watering my grass and grateful that when I want to up my income, I can get on the phone and drum up business.

Thank you Lord for giving me the drive to accomplish what I want to accomplish. I don't think anyone else needs to dream
the dreams I have for myself. That is the beautiful thing about life, we all have our own dreams and that is a good thing.

*Nothing against smart people. Both Mr A and I tested as gifted as kids and were in advanced placement classes. I appreciate smart people but I admire driven people.

The Weekend

We had a busy weekend. TR's gym class is 9 on Saturday but she wanted to stay in bed so we did.

We actually had a busy few days. Thursday the A family went to giggles n hugs for dinner. The restaurant
had a live band perform for the kids. I love that place and the food is great.

Friday my cousin came over and we spent the day shopping. I think TR was still tired on Saturday morning.

Saturday, I went to check out furniture but that store also had a 6-8 week wait and I want a bed that is high
enough to need the steps, so the search will continue.
The A family then headed to Costco.

Mr A's dad and brother came by after Costco. Mr A's brother was holding QT's hands
and TR grabbed QT and Mr A's brother let her have him.

I watched as both my babies went on momentum, fell in a heap
on the floor and hit their heads on the floor. I got QT and left the room.
I was and am still hot. Who let's a two year old gran a 7 month old and makes 0
moves to assist or pick them up.

But it's okay because I know for sure what people are too
careless to ever be alone with my kids. Mr a had walked into the kitchen
and I was standing by my desk. We were too far to
help. I imagine had we not been there the kids would have jumped out
of the window.

I met a gf at the gym and that helped work off some of my pure hotness. I had a headache and was boiling.

Sunday after church we went to the Curtis School fair. I am not
applying to that school but I wanted to check it and the parents out.

While there we saw Tisha Campbell and her kids. She is extremely
light. TV added 10 shades of dark to her. She is not missing any meals
either.

We saw the woman who played Jamie Foxx love interest on his
show. She looks better in person.

We saw Tori Spelling and she is missing all the meals Tisha is eating. Her daughter
looked like she weighed more than her momma. Her tan was nice. It looked real.

There were other t.v. and movie people with their kids but I its hard to recognize people when they are not on t.v.

I am still working on TR's application. We don't have a second choice school. So we need to get the school we are applying for. Its our favorite.

We had a dinner party last night. It was fun! Its nice to have girl talk and Mr A got to hang out with his best friend. Mr A grilled filet mignon and I cooked up roasted vegetables from trader joe's. The filet was amazing. TR ate all of her stesk and she is not that big of a red meat eater.

The world deserves to partake of Mr A's culinary skills. Fret not, a restaurant is part of our retirement plan, so the world will get its chance.

Happy Monday.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Need a woman in your life.......

That's a good look.

I went to Ross today and had a mini shopping spree while TR was at art. Mr A won't really appreciate
the clothes. The nanny(henceforth shall be known as Ada) appreciated them when we got home. I took
photos of the dresses and sent them to my mom.

TR is having a phase and wants to wear a fancy dress everyday. Now she has 5 more to add to
her collection. It's amazing that a 2 year old will battle to wear what they want.

I think she likes the reaction she gets when she is styled well. I have no idea where
her fashion sense comes from. She demands a certain look. She might get it from my clothes
and accesory loving sister. TR's aunt literally travels the world and shops.

I picked up a bunch of clothes for QT. It's hard to shop for a baby boy. It's as if designers think
boys should only wear leisure wear. If we go to high end children's boutiques they have great
clothes for boys but they are upwards of $50 for a long sleeve tee.

I went to Flicka yesterday and perused the clothes. I left because Mr A
really wants to go there and pick out clothes for QT. I have a specific style I
want for infant QT. He's preppy like Carlton Banks but he does
wear nice sweat suits to football games.

When he gets bigger I will dress him based on his personality.
But I won't overdue. Mr A says women mess up sons when we devote
lots of attention to their appearance. I can see it. O

ART

Today at art I heard the teacher ask the nanny what QT's name is. I heard Ronnie say it but the nanny said fella.
The teacher said fella? Ronnie said the name again and louder but they ignored her. I walked in and told them his
name. I even spelled it.

I told the teacher that I call him little fella or fella.

It must be hard to be a child. People just ignore you
and speak as if you are not there or don't know things.

We talk to our kids like people and I assume they know what
we are saying and what is being said. I spell a lot of stuff because
I know TR pays attention, even when she does not appear to.

She calls him gentle but she knows what his real name is. Go TR!

I remember being a young child and eavesdropping but pretending I
I did not know what adults were talking about. I would tell my mother
what they said.

My mom and grandparents used to spell so much that
I learned to spell quickly. My grandparents didn't curse but
they did use BASTARD a lot. They would be arguing and look
and see a kid and break out with B-a-s-t-a-r-d.

I could spell that word at 3. I also knew what it was because
I knew what word they used in specific parts of arguing,

Anyway when I get around kids I speak like someone is there.

What's Wrong

Yesterday I called the fire dept for my drunken old neighbor. She had burned
something and the smoke could be seen through the heavy rain.

When TR saw the firemen, she ran to the door asking me, "what's wrong?" I'm
not sure how she knew firemen signal a problem. Was it on Cailou?

Yesterday morning she came into the kitchen and pointed to her cheek. She said,
cheek, bite cheek, bite cheek, daddy bite cheek.

I could not figure out what she was saying. I told her to show me and as
we were walking it occurred to me that she was saying
her daddy bit her cheek. She was speaking in present tense
and it confused me because daddy was not in the kitchen.

I got to the room and asked Mr A if he had bit her cheek. He had. I
bit his cheek and told him she does not like to be bitten. TR and I left him wrestling with QT.

During breakfast I told him to stop the biting. He said TR was playing
and laughing when he did it. He thought she was just relaying the info
to me. I took it as a complaint.

He asked her if she liked him biting her cheek and she said, no. He asked
If he could bite her arm and she said, no.

He asked who was he supposed to bite and she told him to eat.

I think she meant he is to bite his food. He asked if he could bite gentle
and she told him yes.

Gentle currently likes biting, having his cheeks bit and rough housing.

I'm pleased TR knows she can come to me and express herself. She knows mommy
will listen and defend her. I hope as she gets older she continues
knowing I am there.

It's amazing to me when I hear kids commit suicide because
of school bullying. The parents are unaware of the child's turmoil.

When I was a kid I dealt with bullies and I knew I could tell my family.
My mother and father did not stand for us to be bullied.

My parents would 1) tell the parent to reign in their child 2) if the parent
said they could not my parents told the parent they would 3) my parents
handled the kid.

Every kid who tried to bully me ended up calling 911 for help.

I will be that same type of parent. Mr A and I have discussed this and I
am getting upset thinking about it. We will fight if necessary for peace.
I have visions now of us fighting a kids parents over bullying.

I will not be telling my kids to deal with it nor will we be transferring schools. Posses will be
rounded up. I think most bullies are seeking attention from their parents.
Fighting the parent of a bully will probably help the bully's relationship.

In happier news, TR's vanity/ desk is here. It's beautiful and she loves it!
She sat at it from the time it arrived until the time her nanny left.

I put a few of her books on it. I plan to put a few beauty items and paper and crayons.
Last night after dinner I made out some letters. TR asked me for my pen.
I gave her the pen and paper. She spent probably an hour writing two stories.

It was scribbles to me but she told me what it was. She wrote/drew about a football
game, daddy, gentle and momma (my mother). I didn't ask why I was not in her story.

Gratitude

The seminar Mr A went to discussed gratitude. The lady said parents
should not tell kids to say thank you. They won't learn why they should
be thankful. Children should hear you as parent
express gratitude to others and express why you are thankful.

This morning when TR came to our room she asked for juice. I went to get it
and Mr A said, isn't that nice of mommy? TR shook her head yes. When I
gave her the juice she said, thank you! with enthusiasm.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I'm not interested in "your baby can read". Reading is fundamental but I think it can wait until
the kid is 4/5.

TR appears to be teaching herself to read. I think that is great but I am
not pressuring her just so I can claim fame to a 2 year old reader.

We got her alphabet flash cards a while back. Lately she has been getting
The cards and asking what the letter is. We tell her and she moves to the
next letter.

Yesterday, after 2 weeks away from the cards, she pulled them out and identified
about 13 letters and a word that began with the letterl.

I was amazed. She identified the letters and not the order.

Today she asked me to tell her what certain words said. Then she
moved on and came back and told me what the word was.

I plan to put name cards around the house.

I wonder if art is a trigger for the reading!

and so it is

TR had fun at art today. She and the nanny stayed and painted, while QT and I went to Trader Joe's. We had started out on our way to visit Mr A but my battery in my phone died, so I decided to stay close to TR. I don't like to be out of touch in case my kid needs me.

After the art and play we headed to AFK Beverly Hills. I bought a vanity for TR. I know she will love it!

I showed her the various beds I was considering for her and she chose the one I had been trying not to ignore. I want that bed for myself.

It was 5k something and that doesn't include the mattress and fabric. The twin bed would be cheaper. Around 3000 something. I told Mr A and he reminded me that I wasn't supposed to go back there without him. He was supposed to stop me from making a purchase.

I'm pretty sure I would not pay a few thousand for a bed and not tell him.

When I told him TR had picked out the $5k bed his response was, "......and?" I won't tell you what else he added - unless he tells me I can, but it was hilarious.

So I'm going to google princess beds and try to find a lower priced alternative.

The good thing about falling in love with high priced stuff is it puts things in perspective. I'm sure Mr A will breath a sigh of relief if I get a $1000 bed for TR.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Home Again

The kids and I had a nice flight home. I wanted to take the train but as I thought
about the journey I decided it would not be fair to me or the kids.

I can do the ride alone or with 1 kid but I would have a mental collapse
trying to manage an infant and busy TR.

Tomorrow I plan to take TR to art class. The nanny told me she could take her on
the bus. I may drop them off and return home. As much as I like to
participate I have work to do.

I have been slowly checking out beds for TR. I had sorta
had pottery barn on the top of my list.
We have been passing a children's furnishings store in
Beverly Hills.

I went in there today and had to drag myself away.
The furniture is beautiful and it feels wonderful. It's real
wood and hand painted in the U.S.

I can't go back to Pottery Barn after viewing what AFK Beverly
Hills offers.

I am going to take TR to pick her own bed. I showed
her online photos but I think she will enjoy browsing and
choosing the bed she likes most.

We had a lovely time in the bay. It was nice hanging with
my mom. I didn't get a lot of breaks but I survived.

I love the paint colors. Now we feel like we are home.
The white whiles were stifling my creativity.

Friday, October 1, 2010

School Mania

I won't post much if any more on my dream school. Until TR is enrolled I can't get comfy.

Someone asked me how I learned about the school. ~insert wavy lines~

It was probably fall 2009, I began chatting with a mom at the park. She told me her 1st grade got up at 5am to catch a 6am school bus to a good school in Brentwood. I had no idea busing still occurred. She began explaining to me how schools in this District work. I went home realizing that TR was 1 and I was already behind.

I started my school research. Mr A had wanted to go all private and we agreed to do public elementary until high school. We live in a top elementary zone but due to the busing, lottery and point systems it's no guarantee that we can get in the public school we live near. Then my concern grew because I wonder if the school focuses on testing well at the expense of stuff I consider important. I don't want to turn my kids in zombies who test well. I want critical thinkers who know how to learn.

I always knew what private high school I wanted. It's the same school my cousin attended. When we went to the "bitch is the knew black" reading my cousin seemed to know most of the people. The author went to one of the independent schools so the network is so small that they were all connected. I got home and researched schools more. I had not known of this network stuff.

I discovered that the path in to the high school and pretty much any of the good private schools I wanted was a list of elementary schools.
It should not be so hard but it is.

I was going to my pilates class before I was pregnant with QT and I was directly across the street from my dream school. The building does not have a name so I didn't know it was a school. I would walk past the building as did Mr A and TR and later M
Mr A and QT.

The program that I love seems to be a mix of waldorf and Emilio Regia. My mom is a teacher and pretty much everything she told me about the way kids learn, is what this school offers.

On our tour I told a 1st grade teacher that I was not teaching TR to read ( at the advice of my mother) but I know many parents do. I asked how she dealt with readers and non readers. She told me she agreed with my mom and pretty much gave the same reasons my mom did.

We had got TR a Vtech educational game last year. I was telling my mom that she would not play with it. My mom told me to put the game away because children learn through play and exploration. They touch, observe, and use their senses. She pretty much gave me a list if things to encourage that. And the school takes the same approach. It's called developmentally appropriate.

TR is 2.5 and in the midst of all of our play she knows how to identify letters and read some words, she can count to 10 by herself and had learned a bunch of other stuff all through play.