Thursday, February 25, 2010


My rationale mind said "do not do it!" I ignored that and stepped on the scale. I have lost ~60lbs since delivery. I am nearly 20lbs below my prepregnancy weight.

I hope the weight is not playing games with me. I have a couple of California thick cousins who had babies and were skinny after delivery and still are slim years later.
I have no idea how I could have lost extra weight. I gained 40 during pregnancy but have lost 60. I will have to ask the doctor about this.

I will try to start pilates plus again. That no impact workout is killer so I need to mentally prepare.
I am done intentionally making babies so I can workout with the goal of permanent maintenance. I do not want to be the chubby mommy at the school. We live on the Westside and I will not be the chubby mother in a sea of women who probably don't eat. I am not trying to be skinny just athletic and trim.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

QT Arrived!

Our new border is here. QT graced Mr A, TR and myself this weekend. We've got a boy! Cool stuff.

These babies grow fast, so I will be getting as much cuddle time as I can knowing once this kid is walking my cuddles might only come during sleep times.

The Birth

I got my VBAC. I felt like I was in the Ricki Lake documentary because all but my doctor kept pushing for c-section. They were so committed they wouldn't let me eat- just in case.

I'll probably share the story later. We are home and TR is in Oakland. She'll come back this weekend. I think I need more time because pushing a baby out is rough on the body too. My mom has to go to work so our options are pretty limited.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Big Boy

We were at the hospital earlier this week and a nurse asked me if I was about to deliver. Yesterday a parking attendant said, "any day now, hunh?" Then the valet guy said, "that is a big boy you have there."

I wonder do these people know this baby has to exit and remarks about how big the baby is are not comforting. Mr A reminded me that I was offended when preggers with TR and people would comment that I need to eat or that I did not look pregnant.

I guess silence or a comment unrelated to size would work well.

My belly looks like I am carrying a missile.

QT's estimated weight was 4.8 at 32 weeks so I know the kid will be big. Then I have to face the reality that Mr A's people are born with large heads.

It's too late to hire the surrogate. Pray for a sista!


Tuesday, February 22, 2005
I made it back from Palm Springs alive.

This may not seem like a major feat to some but I could have died.

I went to Palm Springs with my guy, his friend and the wife of his friend. On Saturday the girl and I planned to go shopping, the guys went to play golf. The girl and I got severely lost, then got bad directions. We ended up circling the San Bernandino Mountains, in the middle of a storm. We were traveling on a two lane, windy road, at 4000 feet, with nowhere to go but down if we slipped. The signs said "icy" and "rock slide area."

We were told that if we took the 74 we would travel for about 15 minutes and end up at the 10 freeway and could head back to the freeway and be about 20 minutes from the shopping stores. We thought about turning around and asked a man how far was the freeway, he looked at his map and said about 10 miles. Well about 70 miles later we were still driving, we considered turning around but kept deciding not to because we had went so far and didn't know if the freeway would be the next mile. We finally got down off the mountain and found that we were 76 miles from San Diego.

We entered a town that appeared to be Mayberry, it was like a movie, both of us envisioned ourselves as the victims in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

The proprieter of the general store told us that the way we traveled was a short cut from San Diego to Palm Springs and that if we took the highway it would be a little over 2 hours but the mountainous route was 45 minutes. So we headed back the way we came, and went back into the storm and terrifying curves of the moutains. The drive was longer than 45 minutes, but perhaps because San Diego residents drive 100 at all times, it would be 45 minutes to them. If I had a picture you might be scared of the road we traveled. We were so close to the edge of the cliff, and looking down the rocky mountains, was the most frightening sensation I know.

On our way back to Palm Springs we drove through the arc of a rainbow. That was a awe inspiring experience. We were able to see where it began and ended and went underneath it. That must mean some sort of blessing on our lives.

Strangest thing about the route we took is that is was very well traveled, There was a constant stream of cars, speeding as if the rain and muddy roads didn't exist.


The fella and I are still together. We are still alive, he and I almost died, not from discovering that we were incompatible but from Nicole induced drama. But I won't get all mushy and detailed on my blog, but there really must be someone for everyone because he remains patient and rational throughout all the drama I bring, even when I have dramaed myself out.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

First impression

I gave one of the new attorneys an assignment. She was to appear at 10am. About 10 after 10 the client calls to ask if I am coming. The girl is late. That makes my office look bad.

This is the same attorney who asked me how I got clients. Relationships aren't built by showing up to the initial meeting late. If it was 8 or even 9 I could excuse being late but there is no traffic if you are arriving somewhere at 10.

Then the girl was asking me for more work and how to get clients in the bay. I will see how this 1 case goes. I can't let a lax work ethic mess my business up because the word will be on my firm's name.

I am just amazed that people think any work is that easy. Everything requires effort.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


I think people are mental to think their relationship is the standard for how relationships should be. I suspect those people might be less satisfied than they present.

I think the dynamic vicki and don on RHOC have works well for them. I was hot when tamra with her tacky self and trampy gretchen tried to attack it. I mean who are they? The rest of them don't have to agree with how don and vicki run their program. Why do people want others to do like them in their relationship?

Now there are things about couples that would torture me if I were in it. But I am not and if they like it, I love it. I think the way Jim shuts Alexis up is nuts but she probably likes him being her daddy. I would not suggest she get a backbone or he to light on her. People know what dynamic works for them.

I think a lot of people are too weak to have a program and be confident. They allow the opinions of others to make them think they should do differently. I wonder if divorce rates would be so high if people realized marriage was run by two people. I know I have said stuff and later learned someone was upset about it. It confused me because my opinion is just that. I don't have the book on how any else life should be run. Just because I think it's senseless does not mean it does not make sense to someone.

I am glad vicki and don left that silly dinner. They were arguing with a gigloo and a ditz and a couple who were both on 2nd marriages. If you failed at it once then I'm really not listening. Divorcees who remarry are the reason divorce rates are so high. They are more likely to divorce again.

Monday, February 8, 2010


Between my baby shower and our superbowl party we had a busy weekend. We are lazing around today. I need to make a few phone calls though, then I will shower and get back in bed. Or maybe I will shower, get in bed and then make the calls. Maternity leave and owning a business really can't coincide.

I had a good weekend.

We had overnight guests. I am going to turn into one of those women that ban folks from my kitchen. We are not a hotel meaning maid service does not exist. And what woman makes a mess and leaves it for the pregnant woman who has clearly dropped? Just plain tacky!

I know its not nice, but I am going to go to their house, cook up some food, eat and not clean up a thing. I hope she asks me about and I'll tell her, when she comes to our place that is what she does so I figure that is how she thinks guests should behave.

For the superbowl party, even the men washed their bowls out.

I told Mr. A I was going to write that woman a letter. When my mother comes to visit she leaves the place cleaner than when she arrived and tries to leave cash for groceries. Other folks just come and use you. I do NOT understand it, especially if they are older than we are.

After the shower, when most of the cleaning was done the woman had the nerve to say "is there anything I can do". She may have caught the attitude in my response because she said, "then I asked at the right time." That is beyond lazy and in the intentionally rude territory.

I went to Pottery Barn for Kids and saw some nice stuff for QT. I have a hard time shopping for QT because I start picking things up for TR. QT is going to have it rough. If QT is a boy Mr A plans to give him a football day 1. I figured that which is why I registered for a football nightlight.

I imagine QT will be at football practice as soon as it warms up. TR already goes out there and yells at the kids like her daddy. Mr. A takes her to the girls basketball games and now when we watch basketball at home, she stands on the couch and screams and jumps anytime a shot is attempted.

I see lots of sporting activities in my future. I'll be the mom at every game, cold and rooting for my kiddies. Actually that is what I already do when I go watch TR and Mr. A at gymnastics.

We're taking another trip with Mr A's classmates this summer. I'm not sure of the destination though. I don't think the votes are all in. Mr A wants to take QT but I don't want to take a 3 month old out of the country. TR is coming but we are bringing the nanny for her.

We can't wait to take her skiing. We were watching the Xgames and when the boarders were on, Mr. A told TR to watch what she'd be doing in her future. She watched and seemed to enjoy.

Mr. A has given up the skies for the snowboard and he does the twists and turns and daredevil stuff. I expect TR to be an expert by 5/6. I love seeing little kids ski. Its nothing to them, they just DO IT. Good thing we live near the snow.

I'm beat just thinking about it all.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Shower time

Mr A enlisted my cousin to surprise me with a baby shower. It was great! I shed a few tears as I walked in and saw the decorations and everyone.

My cousin got the cake from Hansens bakery. It was amazing. It's the bakery the kardsshian wedding used. I missed that episode but the cake melted in my mouth.

A great job was done on my shower.

I had an idea something was being planned. My neighbor came and told me my shower was Saturday. I think she has alzheimer.

I thought mr A had cancelled it though. He started making gumbo on Friday but did not put it on this morning. I kept asking about it, thinking the gumbo was for my party. I guess it really was for superbowl Sunday.

Mr A even created a registry under an alias. We got great gifts

TR had a blast too. Mr A would have had a blast but he was out of the door soon after "surprise" was said. I think he is truly one of those men torturted by too much girlie stuff. I can relate because I don't like to endure too much man stuff. It's much more fun being with the ladies.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

For the children

I work for the kids. I come across so many nutty parents but I continue on for the children.

I currently have a parent who 1) hid 2 pages of a very vital document. The hidden pages pretty much destroys my entire argument. 2) I knew the 2 pages were missing so I requested the records from the hospital and discovered the parent told the hospital not to release documents.

I just try to remain calm. It's rough though. Sometimes parents are in major denial about their kid. They blame everyone. How does a kid learn to accept responsibility for their behavior and actions if the parent is blaming everyone but the kid.

I don't understand why people hide stuff from their attorney. The stuff is coming out and if it's hidden from the person representing you then I can't plan how to counter.

I am not even lucid right now.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Déjà vu

I was in my mom's back bedroom. TR walked by me, my mother came in and threw something away. That rush came over me. I had experienced that moment before and things were going to happen to change life forever for the worse.

I sent Mr. A a text and told him to be careful. He called to ask what was going on. I told him about my dejavu. I still regret not sending it and telling my entire family to be careful. But the thing about my dejavu is the thing was going to happen. I knew I had no power to change it. I could only prepare. One can never prepare.

When my cousin died after childbirth I knew 3 women who would be delivering at the same time. I knew something was going to go wrong in one of the two. When it went wrong with my cousin I was shocked. She had her babe last and my concern was not with her.

Life is brutal at times. I seem to get a lot of it's brutality. As soon as I got to a state where phone calls did not throw me into a panic, I get the call that means to panic.

It's hard to trust life. It's hard to relax. I wonder why I got chose to endure regular torture. What is the purpose.

And dejavu, what is that. I hope it doesn't mean we're being forced to endure the same pains over and over. Whatever the lesson I think I have learned it.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


Mr A is a great father. I knew he would be. That is why I could have 5 kids with him. I love how he interacts with TR and QT. He manages to give us all love and attention.

I am a bit sad that QT will be my last. I like being pregnant and will miss making people. But making people is a lot on my body. I watched the video on getting tubes tied and that made me not want the surgery. I nearly cried. I don't want any surgeries and I certainly won't elect to have one.

I am curious as to how couples who split or allocate expenses between spouses handle the cost of children. Mr A enrolled TR in gymnastics. I go to watch but he is the main parent that participates with her. Would a couple who split funds make the father cover that out of his funds? Would a nanny be considered my luxury.

Mr A and I combine our funds. If I don't bring home a penny I do not have to dip into savings or go without. I actually know couples and one spouse will have more disposable income because they have fewer bills. Like maybe one has a student loan and the other doesn't. It won't be anything crazy like a shopping habit.

One of Mr A's friends was trying to get back with an ex. The guy said the ex "held him down" and pretty much helped him upgrade his lifestyle. Isn't that what women are supposed to look for in a mate?

Mr A told the guy he is looking at the wrong stuff in women. The guy told Mr A he had married me. Mr A explained he wasn't looking at me for income and that for the first couple of years I didn't earn anything, he took care of everything.

Mr A and I both agreed that a woman should be free to stay home with the kiddies if going back to work tortures her. Mr A didn't want to build a lifestyle on two incomes or even 1 and 1/2.

The crazy thing- to me- is that men are now looking at a woman to upgrade their lifestyle and that women are happy to do it. I know times change but this new strategy is a 180 degree role reversal. I need to interview some men to find out how they got to the point of looking at women as a source of income. When did men get to a place where they find it acceptable that they have more disposable income than the wife and they can splurge more than her? If she doesn't want to splurge that is fine but if she cannot that seems mean.

I do think the wife should be able to handle things if the husband can't. I wouldn't want to be like Tamra from RHOC. She was happy with Simon until his money got funny. If she had some skills they could keep their home.

I love mommyhood. I love watching my child eat and grow and learn and change. It is an amazing experience. I thank God for allowing me to have it. I am that mother who will sit and look at my kid and just say wow. Its amazing. Mr A does it too. Its crazy- we are married with kids. Life happens fast. We still say "wow" sometimes.

My kid is on my lap, rummaging in my desk drawer and ripping up my valentine stickers. Amazing what love does because anyone else would catch my wrath.

I am glad I have Mr A in my life. I don't know what I did to be eligible for such a wonderful person. I am one of those wives who won't sing his praises to anyone but him.

I remember being a kid and telling my mother a car salesman's wife must not like him. She asked why. I told her his outfit was terrible. She said he wife probably loves him and dresses him that way on purpose so women pass him by.

That is the strategy I operate on. I am the only one who needs to know how wonderful Mr A is. He is the only person I need to tell. Of course people who know him see it, but I don't advertise.

A few days ago Mr A told TR to knock on the bathroom door if she had to go potty. She just went and knocked and said pee. She then went and used her pot. My baby is a kid.

End of my randoms.

Monday, February 1, 2010

no title

Money is not a goal of mine but it is a bonus of my work. I enjoy what I do. I love paydays but I could, have and actually do my job for free.

My goal is to take more of a managing role, and obtain and maintain satisfied customers and employee people.

Mr A set up a training for me and a new attorney. He is a great business manager! I got 3 new cases so I need people. He also got us blackberries so now we can sync our calendars on the phone and the home computer. Cool stuff.

I am in the process of organizing and developing methods to make business matters simple. I've uploaded my training materials so I don't have to keep sending them out separately. I can just invite new staff to view the stuff.

I realize the ambitious will take what they learn from me and perhaps hang their own shingle. I am not opposed to that but I plan to keep my business tactics close. The attorneys won't be privvy to intake and getting the clients. They can figure it out on their own. I think training folks is generous enough.


I'm hosting a baby shower for a girlfriend. It should be fun. I'm debating if I want to have one for QT. I don't feel like being bothered by people right now. I'd love to have one and not have to attend. People just disappoint me. I know most people do the best they can and if their best is so *insert word* then life must be rough or bland for them.

I sometimes feel the successful are punished while the sorry are rewarded. I guess people think the sorry need the help. The successful are considered self-sufficient.
Maybe people like sorry because they feel better about themselves.