Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Juices and stuff

TR had a little cold. I had to deprive her of apple juice to get her to drink orange juice. She usually goes to the refridgerator and reaches for apple juice. Today I offered it to her and she pushed the container away and started a search. When she realized there was no orange juice she began hollering and doing her best to verbalize frustration.

Mr A got more oj this afternoon and she was so happy. Now we have about 17 apple juice containers and she wants orange. My mother says she will go back to apple once her cold is totally clear. Simply Orange is her o.j. of choice. I might have to pick up a bag of oranges and squeeze it myself.


It's been cold that last couple of days. Yesterday was spent out running errands but today will be spent bundled up indoors.

TR's nanny is still out. Let us pray she will be 100% next week. The cold and Ronnie's cold worked out well for her to be gone. But I am ready for her to return.

TR and I are in the market for a vehicle. Mr A found the model truck that I had told him I liked and it's green. We went to look at it. I'm supposed to run a carfax report on it and then we shall consider bidding. I don't drive too far from home and I need something bigger to cart babies around, so a gas guzzling truck will work for me.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Expensive labels

I've been paying close attention to labels for TR's foods. The price gets higher when shopping for foods with reduced shelf life and less processing. TR is an apple juice fiend. I started buying her the gallon Martinelli's and they are $9 a gallon. She goes through 2 a week even though we mix it with water. Smart and Final had the gallon jugs on sale for $4. Mr A bought over 20. They should go on sale around thanksgiving and we'll get more.

TR loves cheese. She eats it with her eggs and she snacks in it throughout the day. I have started to get the cheese that claims it's cows are not treated with growth hormones and cheese that has the fewest stuff done to it. So now our cheese expense has increased.

We need to move to a farm. My mom spent a lot of time with her grandmother and told me most everything they ate lived or grew at the house. My great-grandfather married a wise woman. My own grandparents had a huge garden so most of our food was grown. It's nice not to pay two arms just to get chemically-free food.

I saw a news report that said organic produce lost nutrients in shipping. It's best to buy it locally. I notice organic produce is more expensive at farmers markets and even more expensive at super markets. The report was saying if the food is shipped it's paying more money and getting less nutrients.

I have a great lead on legal help. I just have to train the person on the area of law I work in. Figuring out how to do that is giving me a headache. I'm thinking I could have my mother handle the practical side and I handle the legal side. I really have no idea how I know what to do. I just do it. But if I work through explaining it to my new contractor then it will probably help me.

I'll figure something out because I want to hire at least one more attorney.

Next I want to hire an admin assistant. It costs money to make money and these folks will help me increase my workload. I'm willing to pay folks to help me make more. The rule of thumb is if someone is paying you $100k, you are making them 1 million.

I realize I only have a couple of years before folks figure out what I do and start doing it themselves and make all the money, but such is life. I can't be greedy. Greed kills.

We've got this child with expensive food demands to feed so money has to be made. I don't actually think babies are that expensive. Maybe I need to track how much money it takes so I can be sure. Mr A used to say we needed 100k for each child. This was when I wanted 4 or 5. I'm too old to get to the 5 but if baby 2 arrives without a hitch maybe I will give baby 3 a try. I sure wish men could have the babies. Mr A is so strong and he would be great as a human incubator. I just laze around sleepy and waiting to be pampered.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Day

TR and I had a fun day today. I had a doctors appointment early this morning. The appointment was for 9 and they asked I arrive at 8:30 since I am a new patient.

TR is usually up and moving by 7:30 a.m. This morning she decided to lay in bed and relax. She looked at me as I dressed. I was quite confused.

She is usually at the door as soon as she see's me get the keys out. Today she lazed by the window looking out and observing.

When I got to the door she looked at me and said, "bye, bye". I had to tell her to come on and when she came she moved so slow, she even stopped and laid on a pillow.

I do not think she approves of leaving home so early.

Fortunately is was warm and sunny early and that makes it easier for me to get going.

After the appointment we went to see Mr A do his thing teaching. It was great. TR seemed to enjoy it too. Mr A also seemed to really enjoy us being there. It was lovely all around.

I also got to hear Mr A talk to the kids about life stuff. It's always nice to see how similar our views are. Mr A leans liberal and I lean conservative, but we agree. Odd I know. He told the kids something that I had been trying to articulate to some ladies a few days ago. I was like "that is what I was trying to get across."

I got home after stopping for a snack and baked a chicken that came out amazingly good. I don't know if that was a good chicken or what but I did the same thing I do everytime I bake one but for whatever reason this was great.

Dance Breaks: Most days/nights Mr A and I turn on music and dance with TR in the living room. Recently she has started to stop dancing, step off the rug and tap the same spot on the hardwoods saying "right here". She puts me off the rug. I guess my dancing is not up to her standards.

Mr A nearly fell out of his chair as she kept doing this. Then during one of his dances she stopped and patted his chair and said, "here". Now that was funny!

Monday, October 19, 2009


Prevent Swine Flu - Good Advice

Dr. Vinay Goyal is an MBBS,DRM,DNB (Intensivist and Thyroid specialist) having clinical experience of over 20 years. He has worked in institutions like Hinduja Hospital , Bombay Hospital , Saifee Hospital , Tata Memorial etc. Presently, he is heading our Nuclear Medicine Department and Thyroid clinic at Riddhivinayak Cardiac and Critical Centre, Malad (W).

The following message given by him, I feel makes a lot of sense and is important for all to know

The only portals of entry are the nostrils and mouth/throat. In a global epidemic of this nature, it's almost impossible to avoid coming into contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1 is not so much of a problem as proliferation is.

While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1 infection, in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps, not fully highlighted in most official communications, can be practiced (instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):

1. Frequent hand-washing (well highlighted in all official communications).

2. "Hands-off-the-face" approach. Resist all temptations to touch any part of face (unless you want to eat, bathe or slap).

3. Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you don't trust salt). *H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the throat/ nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms. Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on an infected one. Don't underestimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative method.

4. Clean your nostrils at least once every day with warm salt water . Not everybody may be good at Jala Neti or Sutra Neti (very good Yoga asanas to clean nasal cavities), but blowing the nose hard once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton buds dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral population. Neti pots and sinus rinse kits are available at the drug store and relatively inexpensive--under $15.

5. Boost your natural immunity with foods that are rich in Vitamin C (Amla and other citrus fruits). *If you have to supplement with Vitamin C tablets, make sure that it also has Zinc to boost absorption.

6. Drink as much of warm liquids (tea, coffee, etc) as you can. Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the reverse direction. They wash off proliferating viruses from the throat into the stomach where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any harm.

I suggest you pass this on to your entire e-list. You never know who might pay attention to it -- and STAY ALIVE because of it."

Spread the word,

Sunday, October 18, 2009


It's bad for an adult to scam but when adults raise their kids to scam and use people it's abuse.

Mr A's goddaughter called him this weekend. She had not called since I told her mother she could not bring her child to work. She called to
tell him she would be checking out of the school because her mother didn't have bus fare for her to attend. In the last post I pondered if she
had some bus fare scam going on.
The girl probably expected Mr A to offer her the money. In the past he probably would have. A student bus pass is $ 24. She will likely have to take a bus wherever she goes. If the mother cut out her black and mild or clubbing, or liquor she could afford it. Maybe if she cut our her weekly visits to jail to visit her boyfriend.

Mr A asked the girl what happened on Friday and she said a girl pushed her on
Wednesday and she didn't find out until Friday when talking with the dean that the
girl was in a hurry. Mr A asked the girl why she had skipped over the fight. She
then said the girl pushed her, she pushed her back and fought her. The
goddaughter supplied the standard hood creed of "if someone pushes me then I
am going to push them back".
I don't actually believe she was pushed she was probably bumped into. Her first week at the school and she was saying some girls had attitudes. Sometimes it's difficult for kids to interact with kids who are in vastly different socio-economic
situations. She lives in Watts and goes to school in Hancock Park. That is an
enormous culture shift. I sometimes feel akward pushing my $200 stroller amongst $800-$1000 strollers when I walk to larchmont. The kids wear uniforms but I'm sure she has to feel some frustration.

Sometimes poor kids will be mad at you for not being poor. There were hood kids
at my jr. high and some of those nuts were upset that I didn't catch the bus and
arrived at school in different cars. I never spoke about vacations but I was
attacked for taking them. Who even notices such things? The poor kids whose
parents were home on government assistance without cars and without vacations.

Kids who fight for silly stuff should mingle with kids who fight for silly stuff. Kids
who think school is a place to learn should go to school with similar minded kids.

I would be upset as a parent to known I am working hard and my kid is at school
having to fight a hood child whose momma was home chilling.

Since the girl knew Wednesday she would have detention Friday, all the madness of Friday was unnecessary. She called her godmother as if detention had been
sprung on her. I can't make sense of any of it except to think she is learning to use
people and con folks.

If her mother had taught her
to push back when pushed, she couldn't have felt
shame in telling her about detention for fighting.
I suspected the girl would call Mr A when she needed something. He has called to check on her and spoke with her mother but she didn't call until bus fare was

I think it's awful kids have to be born to parents who think it's the government and employed folks job to take care of the kids. How does a woman living in poverty
with one kid and an absent father decide to have another child and then another and another. And then pick sorry men each time. How does she still go out and
party and enjoy herself? And if you are the kid in this situation how do you not
yearn to be out and not repeat.
How can kids rebell against the parents who gave them music lessons, and put them in youth groups and had coming out parties but kids whose parents could
barely feed then follow those footsteps?

How do parents not feel tortured by their choices that their kid has to live under. How can they continue bringing more kids into the same situation? I don't think you need to be rich to have kids but if you are unable to offer minimums like a bed to sleep in, it seems like breeding should stop.

Friday, October 16, 2009


So today about 4:30 Mr A calls and tells me the goddaugther's mother called him wailing about not knowing where her daughter was.

Mother's Story: The girl had gotten into a fight at school, had been sent to the office. They called the girl on the intercom and she didn't come.

Mr A asked the mother why she hadn't gone looking for her daughter. It seemed she wanted him to. The mother called him again and he asked her again why she was on the phone calling him when she should be looking for the girl.

I went to the school to find out what was going on. What trifling mother does not make more of an effort if they really think a kid is missing.

Asst Principal's Story: He had not seen the girl. She had been sent to the office for something. Her godmother (not me) called and told him the girl called her and said she didn't have bus fare and was being held after school. He told the godmother that he would give her bus tokens. He called the girl and discovered that she was gone. They called her on the intercom and looked. She was not around.

I told them to call the police and they had the nerve to refuse. I was on the emergency card so they did as I asked.

Iif they can look for a boy in a balloon they can take some time out for this girl and waiting to find out if she showed up wouldn't work since the school folks would be gone.

There was some confusion as to if she had left school and last been seen close to 3 p.m. or 4 p.m. I was concerned that the person she had a fight with was involved. Folks are crazy.

I went home to see if she was there and to get a photo. When I returned the police were there. Mr A had been trying to call the mother and
the girls aunt but neither answered.

I immediately became suspicious. I got the aunt's number and had the asst principal call. They answered on the first ring. Mr A deals with
some trifling people.

The mother had known of the girls whereabouts for a while but didn't tell Mr A. I suspected she told her sister and mother not to answer his call. That is why I had them called from a different number.

The police told her they were coming there to verify the girl was actually there.

I guess the girl's mother must be upset with Mr A to do such an evil thing.
Mr A was at his football game and I figured out her game pretty quickly.

Mr A thinks there is hope for his goddaughter but I don't know. He has missed some of her stanktitude. A few years ago, she sprayed some of my Angel. I walked into my bedroom and the smell was unmistakeable. It was so strong I thought she must have broke the bottle. I asked
her why she sprayed it and she got the nastiest attitude and lied and said she had not. Little heifer rolled her eyes. Had that been my
mother and I did that she would have snatched me up and beat the nasty and lie demon out. Nothing worse than a liar.

I left the room because I knew I lacked the temperament to deal with her nastiness. When Mr A got home told him what she had done. He asked her and the girl broke into a stream of tears. I didn't buy the tears. He lectured her on integrity and it was quite good. I would have felt terrible if I had gotten that lecture.

Today she 1) had a fight 2) walked out of school without alerting anyone 2a) ignored instructions to wait to speak with asst principal 3) told her godmother she didn't have money but somehow managed to get on the bus. Is she trying to scam bus fare?If this is what she does at
11, she might as well do it at her hood school so when she leaves she can walk home.

I am done with these people. My doctor just told me to avoid stress and then folks manufacture some.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Baby

Most people say TR looks just like Mr A. Like he had her all by himself.

A few folks have said this and my mother has shown them her own baby picture. My mom as a baby and TR look like the same baby.

Mr A and I are not related. I have no idea how TR can look like him and my mother too.

My grandmother used to say I looked like her mother. We were the same height, shoe size and demeanor.

TR is like my grandmother, right down to the wave and loud voice. Mr A is also very social but TR has the amazingly sweet disposition like my grandmother had. The kind of person that really loves everybody.

We went to the Zimmer Museum and I got a photo of TR behind a cash register. I adore this shot because my grandmother's first business was a lunch truck. Most of us might only be familiar with Mexicans and the taco truck but in the 50's and 60's, my grandmother would drive her truck to the fields and she would sell my grandfather's workers lunch. They were making money all kinds of ways.

When my mother was a teenager, she had "Bonnie's Cafe." My grandmother opened it up, named it after my mother but it was for my mother. So she also has the register in her past.

When I was a teen I had a candy store and sold a few hot foods. I had a cash register.

Maybe TR will be inspired to make a business of whatever she decides to do. I need to make sure to get her a cash register.

Still The One

It's been a few days and I have decided I will be friends with Mr A again.

I needed a cooling off period because he hurt my feelings. In a day or so I might be able to talk to him about what he was upset about. I do care about his feelings but when he is upset he stores it up and only brings it up at his break point. I might complain more than he does but I'm not upset when I do it. Who wants to have an argument about what happened 3 weeks ago. You are focused in the moment but dealing with someone with 3 weeks worth of upset.

Tuesday TR and I had a bathtub disaster. I had sat her on her toilet while I ran the water. She kept getting up and I put her in the tub. She got in and before I could put the soap on the towel she pooped- in the tub.

I rinsed her bottom off and took her out. She then pooped on the floor. I won't go into further detail but things just fell apart and I did too. I called Mr A and told him we had a bath disaster and I need help. He was only a few blocks from home, so he skipped his errand and came home.

He came in, observed the situation and told me he felt nauseous and knew I did. It had taken everything in me not to vomit but I knew that would be extra to clean up. He got TR out of the bathroom and told me he would clean up. He did.

He bleached, mopped and washed stuff. He also said he would have just gotten toilet paper picked it up and flushed it because, "its only poop."

When I used to live alone there was what appeared to be a dog doodoo track on the floor of my kitchen. My brother had been there so I figured he did it. The housekeeper wasn't available and I packed my stuff and stayed at my moms. After a couple of days she and my brother went and handled it. I went back home.

Then there was my favorite pair of boots that stayed in my mom's shed for @ a year because there was booboo on the bottom. I think the gardener eventually cleaned them.

Mr A knows my limitations and props me up.

I also know his. He does not like conflict and hopes I will notice his angst before he has to express it. By the time he has to express it, he is upset and hurt.

So because I know who he is I will be his friend again and resolve things.

He is very fortunate to have me.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Deactivate People

I went to college with a guy who Mr A knew from around his neighborhood. They weren't friends but Mr A knew this fella was sorry even as a high school person. I met the guy in college and knew he was sorry. He dated my girlfriends room mates. The roommate used to work in the dorm dining hall. I lived in the dorm.

I also knew they had sex in the dining hall. This girl also had sex with the dining hall manager in the dining hall. I remember asking her placement questions so I would know what food was contaminated.

The mutual acquaintance would walk around with an unwashed face and stinky. He was also very very fat and slovenly. The guy was friends with my sister's best friend friend.

Basically had it not been for him being friends with friends of friends I would have never spoken to him. I am not ashamed to admit that I believe people with access to showers should use them.

Imagine my surprise when he pops up on facebook and married to what appears to be a decent looking woman. No telling how she smells but I wonder, how and why and how and why.

So by his facebook updates he seems as lazy as his appearance would lead one to believe.

He has been posting about being jobless for months and praying for a job and asking us to pray with him.

His sorry obese self gets a job and his first update says he is at training and its raining and he is wishing he is home in bed.

Goodness. How in the world?

I of course left a comment of disbelief but managed to refrain from being too nasty.

I will relate this post back to myself. His updates make me feel for his wife. There is nothing- to me- worse than a lazy man. How can you want to be sleep when you have been unemployed for so long. Don't most people start off a job excited and maybe after some paychecks wish they could be resting somewhere.

I will relate this back to Mr. A. When he writes certain fb updates I bet there are people like me who think his spouse must be pretty awful.

I let him complain to his best friend about me. They complain to each other about their women. I realize its nice to have someone to complain to. I know their drama, they know ours. We can still hang out. Everyone won't let you move past a bad day.

I mean I will forever consider the guy I wrote about as a lazy sack of skin. I don't know him well enough to know anything else. I do know that he is in a frat and needs to leave the college days behind. Let me change that, his frat brothers agree that he is a lazy sack of skin who focuses on baseball games and being OWT and not community service or adult interests.

Anyway, I'm off to the museum when TR wakes up. I had a hearing this morning and appeared by phone, but the time I was done and ready to go, she was going down for a nap. The life of a working mom can sometimes be run by naptime.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Oh happy day!

written Sunday.

I had a post in my head about feeling I've found some balance. My energy picked up and I felt like I was getting back in a positive swing of things. Work has been going well and I was beginning to find my zeal for that again.

I never got around to that post. Apparently Mr A. can sense if I am starting to feel too good or like things are going my way and he makes sure to shut it down. Seriously when I am starting to feel like I've got it good he pops up with what I am not doing and why he is miserable.

I awoke this morning, got TR and myself a breakfast snack and then checked out fb. I saw Mr. A had a post about being tired of some things. He also had an attitude with me so I don't think I was overreacting to conclude I was included in 'things'. He has made other fb comments like no matter how hard you try women find something to complain about and then there was the father's day post where I discovered he was upset about the day.

FB posts are not a good way to find out how he is actually feeling. Then he has my friends and family on his page and I know he gives some tongues ammunition to wag. He makes hints to all on fb who care to read but won't tell me. He says the posts aren't about me but its still a problem if he tells fb and not me.

I asked him if his fb message was directed to me and he said he has some stuff going on. He did't say what. Then after pretty well ignoring me for the entire morning he sends a text in the afternoon to tell me why I had him depressed.

written Monday

I could go on but I am at that done point. The point where I have no desire to resolve or work anything out. I'm just going to be me and be happy. Maybe I'll start blogging about the stuff he does that would depress me, if I didn't know I have ultimate control over my feelings, emotions and mind.

Maybe I'll put it on his facebook wall so folks he knows can read it and talk about him and how terrible the person I married must be.

Anyway I am trying to keep calm and cool. I usually am only upset briefly. When a person makes such announcements to fb then I think that indicates a lack of respect for the marriage and the spouse.

Your ass is supposed to be covering me but you are off writing to anyone who cares to read your hints that you are not satisfied and having folks wondering what I am doing to you.

No, I am not trying to work anything out. You can go be happy without me since you are so miserable with me.

p.s. Unless you want all your stuff burned please do not comment on my blog. you have your fb to talk about me and please delete my relatives before you do so.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

The Network

I enjoy our neighborhood more and more as time passes. When we first moved here we loved the building, our unit and the general area.

As we got to know the area more, we realized what great public transportation we had access to. L.A. isn't known for public transportation, so it isn't something most people consider when moving. We were fortunate to be smack in the middle of the good buses and near the train.

We are a few miles from Downtown L.A., Hollywood, Beverly Hills and Crenshaw/Baldwin Hills area. I can walk a block and take one bus to either of those destinations. When I have court or hearings in L.A. its easier for me to catch the bus than to drive and struggle with parking. A lot of times Mr A will plan to pick me up but I just hop on a bus and I'm home.

We turned out to be in a good spot to get to the hospital where TR was born and where my doctor is. We can get there traffic free at most times of the day and its the scenic route which I love. On the days we want to be tourists we drive through that area. When we moved, hospitals and doctors weren't on my list of wants.

So I'm enjoying the neighborhood even more now because of this nanny network.

When we moved here we didn't have kids and while we planned to have them nannies and parks or schools never factored on our list of places to live.

Now that we have this nanny I am discovering that our neighborhood has a 'nanny network'. TR went to a birthday party at the park on Friday. It was about 20 babies her age and about 20 nannies. I saw maybe one parent who briefly interacted with a child and left. I recognized 90% of the babies.

Because the nannies know each other, they are able to turn what could be a pretty solitary experience into social time for the babies and themselves. TR has even gone on a play date with a couple of babies from the park. I think I mentioned one of the SAHM's at the park told me all the babies at the park are bilingual.

Most of the babies live in close proximity to the park and most of the nannies walk their babies there.

It's all very amazing to me. I guess its reasonable though if most people get their nannies from referrals from friends/neighbors that have nannies. So its reasonable that they know each other. That's how we got our housekeeper when we lived in the old place.

I don't really know too many folks with kids and those I know have them in daycare. So I didn't have any parents to ask. I asked the nanny at the park who I chat with sometimes.

Anyway I like the nanny network.

Now all we need is a few million and we can buy a house in our current neighborhood.

Thursday, October 1, 2009


Hello people!

The new nanny is working out well.

I love that TR is now in the nanny circle at the park. The nannies all know each other so their charges mingle/play with each other. It has the social aspects of daycare that I appreciate and the relaxed aspect of being home and waking up slow that my mother says babies prefer. TR had a play date with a couple of the babies and seemed to have fun.

TR is very social and not the least bit shy. She chats with other babies and adults. Because she is so friendly when she does not want to go to someone I don't force or encourage her too. My elderly neighbor was drunk and TR does not like drunk folks. The neighbor wanted to hold her and TR hid behind me. The lady got demanding. I just ignored her and blamed it on the alcohol.

The strap on TR's bag broke the nanny noticed and took it home and repaired it. I appreciated that a lot.

I am done with two time intensive projects and can now return to work that pays faster. I want to get out of litigation for a while and focus on the work that pays without 2 and 3 year waits. I have one case and the client has sent out multiple requests for cash advances. I could understand a cash advance if a person had an injury that caused lost wages, medical bills, financial hardship or housing challenges.

I don't know how such advances work but I imagine it could interfere with a clients willingness to settle. I'm sure the interest is high and if
you borrow $1 and the interest is $2. You don't want to settle for $3 because you have nothing left and since my fee is --% plus costs, it can
only be a mess. At certain points the judge won't let the lawyer off and if the client acts unreasonable regarding settlement, it's way too much drama.

This case is 90% likely to settle. The defendants have not filed an answer. We agreed to discovery and settlement. The case is a year old. The only way it will go to trial is if either party gets unreasonable.

I was realizing that 1 child is pretty easy. 2 kids will be more challenging. The good thing is the kids have each other to play with and share experiences with. Mr A and I can double team TR but once there are more then the kids will have the advantage. A baby has limitless energy. We will need to pray for strength when we add more babies. And get a full time nanny.

I am already sad about preschool. I don't know how I will handle sending TR off into the world. It's only 2.5 years away and time is flying. I have to enjoy these moments now. Soon she'll be at school from 8 to 3.

In other things, I have decided 2010 is our year to buy. Now we just need to figure out if it's los angeles or Oakland/Berkeley. I have to finish my case b4 we move back to the bay though. I don't want anyone to be after me.