Tuesday, June 30, 2009

On and On

I've been busy.

I got home and moved it and added a cushion I used to have in the window seat at my mom's. I love the way it looks. It's the perfect bench seating. I have the cushions next to it. My neighbor was at the door and told me the living room looks fabulous.

I'll post pics later on Wednesday- at least I will try.

I'm enjoying Pilates Plus. That workout is kicking my butt and my body is a good sore. I think I'm addicted. It works every muscle.

I had a mediation today and the case settled. It settled for more than 2x than my low number. The defendant's first office was 20% off my bill so I didn't even negotiate. I just said that's good.

Then the parents started acting crazy. Its amazing how a person can have a kid with severe behavior problems and they blame the school for the problems. If the parent can't control the child how do they expect a school to? This is why kids are so crazy and why schools have so many difficulties.

If you tell your kid they were provoked you don't allow them to take responsibility for their behavior. Even if provoked a person makes the choice in how to respond.

Sooooooo....... I'm decorating TR's bedroom. It's not baby decor, its little girl/toddler decor. I got a lovely rug from Pottery Barn for Kids. It was on sale so I couldn't pass it up.

Next I want an armoire. Mr A is going to paint in there. I think I'll have an accent wall in mint green and something more subdued for the others. We shall see.

Her crib is cherry wood but I'm not sure what type of bed I want for her. I don't want to get cherry wood just to match. Decisions, decisions.

Since TR is on vaca, I can't be still. When she is here, she keeps me moving. I guess all that energy has to go somewhere. Maybe this is why my mother is so on top of everything. She raised 4 kids so she has to have an enormous amount of energy.

We're looking forward to seeing her and getting our hugs and kisses. I can feel them now.

And in other wonderful news. July 1 is our 3 year anniversary. That is still so young in marriage. We're toddlers.

I'm glad Mr A and I have enough money to live a while. We don't get paid from the state but I am sure those IOU's will trickle down and impact everyone. Too bad- or maybe its good, that the state can't make money like the Fed's can. The fed is broke too, but they have printing machines.

I'm waiting for the government to change our money so they can start over.

Pigs get fed, hogs get slaughtered. don't be greedy and take care


Friday, June 26, 2009

I'm Back!!!

Lunch yesterday turned into dinner. We didn't get back to Oakland until after 9 p.m. so I had to get up at 4:30 this morning to catch a flight.

We went to Texas Roadhouse and I enjoyed myself. The wait staff broke into line dancing during random songs and I felt like I was in Coyote Ugly. The restaurant had peanuts all over the place and you could drop the shells onto the floor. The food was very good.

TR had a great time. She ate and ate and ate and looked and cheered during the line dancing. I plan to go there with Mr. A the next time we are in the Bay. We won't go all the way to Fairfield though, since they have one in Union City.

The man isn't feeling well so we are in bed. Bed is the best place for me, as I am exhausted.

We had dinner plans with the Mertzes but I'll be sending a text to cancel. Fred Mertz was baking mac n' cheese and Mr A was baking cookies. We'll have to reschedule.

I want to see transformers. We were supposed to go yesterday but since my 2 o'clock luncheon turned into 5 p.m. dinner in Fairfield and we didn't get back home until after 9, I was unable to fly out.

I got to the airport at 5:30 and had to run from the beginning of terminal 1 until the end of terminal two to get my 6 am. flight. The lady at the counter put me on the early one. I guess she figured I could make it.

I missed traveling with TR because when I have her I can get in the family lane which is always empty. Today the regular line in terminal 2 was super duper long so I ran to Terminal 1 and went through security but that meant I had to run back to terminal 2 to get on the plane.

I miss how empty OAK used to be. Burbank is a small airport so I leave from there more often than I leave from LAX. Burbank is also closer to us and less traffic.

Have a great weekend!


Thursday, June 25, 2009

For The Love of Money

I like that we are the same people regardless of the 0's in our accounts.

I think God can bless us with many many many 0's and we will still be faithful to him.

I finally got the settlement check for a case I settled in February. Well I got the check in early June it took this long to clear. These banks are such embezzlers. I know they've been making interest off this money.

So I'm writing the check to my client and so glad I am not a crook. It wouldn't be easy to steal her portion of the funds but a lot of lawyers get disbarred because they do steal it.

Clients get greedy too. Fortunately in this case the judge approved the settlement. I was kind enough to take 20% but when a lawssuit is filed I can take 40%. I figure I can make more money but my client suffered an injury so they deserve the benefits of the maltreatment they suffered.

I have administrative stuff that settles pretty regularly and really my business is booming right now. I have more than I want to do. I don't love money enough to be greedy so I say no to some work.

Anyway, I'm sitting here writing checks for some bills incurred doing the course of this case and it hurts. It shouldn't hurt because these are the expenses already deducted from the settlement funds.

I have to run, I'm going to lunch with my mom, my sister, my father's sisters and some other folks. It took growing older to realize that its a cool situation that my maternal and paternal families get along.

My parents divorce didn't affect other relationships. They didn't hate each other. Perhaps they never loved each other because I think you have to have strong emotion- love, to have strong emotion-hate. When my bigmom died, my mom told my father that his mother had been her mother since her mother passed. My grandmothers were friends and there was never any conflict about us spending time with my paternal family.

I'm actually closer with my paternal cousins than my maternal cousins. My bridesmaids were all paternal cousins and then 1 friend.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


I took myself on a date last night. I went to see "The Proposal". It was so lovely. As upset as I was at Mr. A I wanted to go home and give some hugs and kisses.

I didn't, because he sent me a text and reminded me of why I was upset. I realize he was upset with me and I try not to steal his upset thunder but its hard. I mean, the nerve of him to be upset with me, it makes me mad at him.

I shall tell you ladies why he was bothered, I say ladies because I think he is my only male reader. I didn't fix his plate on Father's Day. Had he sat down I'm sure I would have but he fixed them before I could. It isn't as if I don't fix his plates.

Anyway men are odd, and I don't have a problem with fixing a plate. I even make it visually appealing as he likes. He wanted Father's Day to feel pampered, but instead I got pampered. In the future if he doesn't sit down on such days I will throw my full weight at him and do my best to take him down. That way he can't do all the work. He is a doer and doer's will keep doing. I know this, just have to implement.

Food and sex. Whoever said that is pretty much what a man wants and needs didn't lie. That was much of the message at church on Sunday. Bishop Noel Jones keeps it real.

So anyway I'm not upset with him anymore and if he would never be upset with me, then I'd never be upset with him and everyday would be sweet as pie.

I might even let him take me out today and I might be nice to him when he comes home. We shall see.

Monday, June 22, 2009

well I'll say.....

I guess the man's Father's Day was not as nice as mine.

Just thought I'd share that.

I guess I'll go back to not posting on him. I don't want anyone to think my spouse is happy or content when he's suffering and miserable.

So please ignore the previous post. I had a nice Fsther's Day. If I seemed to speak for the man it was in error, his day was not enjoyable as mine was.


Father's Day was fun. Mr A's father came over and we went to church and then the men bar-b-cued. Then we played Wii bowling.. It was us against his dad and his wife. Lots of fun.

TR and I started giving Mr A his gits on Friday. He got 2 gifts a day. I am not much of a gift giver for birthdays and Christmas but I actually see a point in giving Father's Day gifts. I am thankful to the man for being the dad that he is.

The message in church was about being faithful. He spoke about being faithful to your word even when its not convenient. He said when it isn't convenient is actually when your faithfulness is triggered.

I make great efforts to keep my word and still feel terrible over the few times I was unable too. I mean I remember back to 1996 when I was unable to do something with a friend and I still feel awful. I try to do what I promised even if it is not in my best interest because I know people rely on the promise of others.

While I do my best to be faithful I need to make a list. I have a pretty large list of clients and trying to keep it together in my head isn't working any longer. I have dates and briefs and such so I'm going to make a wall chart.

I'm also organizing our finances and making a chart. Fortunately we don't have many bills and expenses, but I need something to look at to know what we have. I have it all in our black book but I need something to view in a glance.

I know what systems work best for me and that is paper and pen. Calendars and electronic organization doesn't meet my needs.

Here's a photo of my beginning efforts in redesigning our space.

In other things we are now a Mac family. Mr A and I got an iMac. I was the one who has used a Mac since 1998, then I moved to PC and back to Mac, then I momentarily jumped off the Mac because it seemed to become a fad to own one. I hate to be in a fad. I have some years of familiarity. Why is he showing me how to use this new machine? Technology changes fast.

We are loving it.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Daddies are People Too.

I'm excited about Father's Day. I am glad I chose Mr A. Watching him with TR makes my heart joyful.

My mom was saying if I disappeared, she knew she wouldn't have to worry if TR was being cared for. She knew Mr. A loved her and would take good care of her. This conversation wasn't random. The family is worried about my cousin whose mother passed and the father moved to GA. with the 2 baby.

I did not have a close relationship with my father. we were cool up until about I was maybe 7 or 8. I think he figured his sons needed a male influence so that was his focus. I had my grandfather and he was my model for a husband and father.

I digress. Since I didn't have the best father I was determined to marry a man that I could die peacefully knowing my kids would be loved and cared for. I can leave TR with him and not worry or feel like I need to rush to take care of things.

Mr A wanted to be a father and he is a great one. He cares for TR as much and as well as I do. Of course when she falls I feel like my touch is the panacea and really when she is crying I need to hold her to make myself feel better.

I look forward to growing older and watching as my baby loves and admires her dad, like the sun sets on him. I love watching her when he comes in the door or hears his voice. She just shines and tries to get to him.

Mr A thinks I'm jealous sometimes but I'm not. I'm grateful she has the type of father that I know I deserved. I am grateful I was blessed with him as a husband and a father for my kid(s).

Career Woman

I don't know a lot of women trying to be president or vp of whatever corporate job they have. I know a lot of women who own a business and want it to succeed but business is not what gets them high.

My business partner and I got a contract with county of San Fran.cisco. Pretty cool.
Her primary purpose for business is shoes and mine is that house in Bel Air and that all girls school for TR. I enjoy my job and if I had 100 million dollars I'd probably still do it, but I'm not trying to climb ladders for the joy of being on top.

I'm satisfied a little higher than middle and I do like being on the ladder. I hope all that made sense.

I do understand why people would want to progress in their job, and take on more challenges. People want to get better at whatever they do. If I'm a runner I want better time. Who wants to work a job and not progress. People aren't robots.

So I was chatting with a fella yesterday- an older fella- and he said its hard to find a mate because the women want to be vp's and such and he just wants to be with a woman. Interesting how men always find a problem. In nearly 50 years of living I know he has come across an educated women who wasn't looking for a sponsor and wasn't looking to be ceo.

I will say that when we were firmly dating Mr A did mention that he wanted a wife who would be willing to stay at home but he wanted one who wasn't looking to marry just to quit working. I guess it can be a dilemma for men. If I have stated that wrong perhaps Mr A will clarify in the comments.

I didn't want a mate who thought bills and money needed to be split, I didn't want a mate that would demand that his wife work or demand that she be at home. My point being we were in agreement on what we wanted as convoluted as those details may be.

So I forgot what my point was but I usually scoff at men who say its a challenge to meet a woman. I really scoff when they are older. They were enjoying all that free azz when they should have been getting a woman.

But sometimes when you get to be a fly on the wall of two sides, the man and the woman you sometimes discover that women do sometimes do men badly and then you understand what the single fella is speaking of. But he still should have gotten a wife when he was desirable and not when his times get tough.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Hump day

I worked very hard today and got a good amount of work done. I need to get better at keeping bills. I'm realizing that work isn't so bad. I know I'm old to arrive at this realization but its nice to go to high end stores and know I can make enough to afford the stuff. After I got work done TR and I went to the Grove and them to the Beverly Center. Good times.

I'll be super happy when we can walk into the house we want and buy it- with cash. I'm looking forward to hanging out in the backyard and maybe taking my lap top and getting work done.

Yesterday afternoon, Tuesday, TR and I walked over to the bank in the village. Mr A met us and we had a light lunch. It was a lovely warm day. Ahhhh, the luxuries of life- they are free. Mr A walked TR home and I went to TJ Maxx and Walmart.

I remember being young and telling God the type of guy I wanted. I got the guy of my requests and realized I had left important stuff out and that I needed to be more specific in what I asked God for. I left it alone. While I had my list I didn't give it to God. I knew I could not be specific enough. I didn't want to mess up what God had for me, trying to focus on what I thought I wanted for myself.

Anyway I can say I feel blessed with my life and I couldn't have dreamed of this. I could not have known the feelings I experience existed. I couldn't have known that taking a walk to the village with my baby and meeting my husband there would be something that made me feel so good. Its such a simple pleasure. We barely spent any money, so money had nothing to do with the pleasure.

Maybe my lack of a dream could just me being slow. I remember my cousins dream was to be at school and her fine boyfriend would pick her up in his BMW. He'd be in a suit with the jacket off and tie twisted and she'd be in jeans. So maybe some people do have an idea.

I actually refused to dream about a husband and kids. I didn't want to be desiring stuff and feeling unfulfilled because it didn't work out. I was not one of those women that knew I'd be a wife and a mother some day.

In other things my best friend in elementary moved to Texas in 7th grade and we lost touch. She joined facebook recently and we reconnected. My brother and I often talk about her and her brother and have wondered how they were. I had googled her and looked for her on fb. It was great to find her and know she is well.

My spirit is doing that little cry Jill Scott gave at the end of Why Did I Get Married. This little girl used to walk to school early with her brother. His class started at 9 and her class started at 10. We were in the same class. My mother saw her sitting outside when she dropped my siblings off and invited her to come home and walk back with me.

She came and I awoke to find the little girl in my room watching t.v. She came over every morning after that. She would walk home with my mother. We became best friends.

facebook is pretty cool.


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Wood

Mr A and I were watching The Wood a week or so ago and he chuckled and said how the movie reminds him of his own group. I agreed. I have always said he is the real life Wood.

He and his friends even grew up in a city that ends in Wood but it was not Inglewood.

I think Mr A is most like Omar Epps character. Omar Epps is actually my favorite character in the movie but I guess since he is the storyteller he would be. His friend T is most like Taye Diggs character. T is still like the kid in the movie even down to the wack relationship philosophy. Taye Diggs character grew up, sorta. T has not. T just broke up with his girlfriend of 10+ years.

We went to a Jazz Festival and everyone else was coupled up, T sat there all pitiful and alone. It was 5 guys, all who have known each other since childhood and who grew up in 'the Wood'. I had never met the 5th guy but Mr A seemed to know him from "the Wood".

Then there is Slim and Mr. A's friend is really slim. He played pro football -see just like the Slim in the movie played pro basketball- and had to work to keep weight on. Slim is in the middle of T and Mr A as far as relationships go. Mr. A is happily married (yes I'm not not modest) Slim has a gf who is pushing for marriage and he is willing, and T might die single or with a long term girlfriend.

Both T and Slim were Mr A's groomsman. They are the regular cast in his friendship group.

Anyway I just think its so fabulous to know that in a big city like L.A. lifelong friendships and normalcy does exist. All the guys grew up with 2 parents, in houses their parents owned, and lived with their original parents. They went to college and are responsible. Even better and a bit shocking for L.A., we had a group of 5 black men at the jazz festival and except for the single guy, they were all married to or seriously dating black women. Even more spectacular they are the type of men who believe in taking care of wife and kids. I think all of the women have quit their job at some point and did the at home thing. T wanted to break up with his girl long before he did but didn't want to leave her financially struggling. He was even paying her car note. He bought her the car. I know some women with husbands that don't pay their car note or don't kick in on the down payment. As kid like as T might be he at least believes in taking care of his woman.

The photos are of me, Mr A and Slim playing scrabble, Mr A is in the hat, the last pic is T. I know ya'll can't see faces but that is intentional. :)

Happy Hump Day!


Lovely Days

TR and I have been busy the last week or so.

She has a deposit to make so we'll go to the bank today. Her spare change really adds up. She has a bottle of pennies but I ran out of wrappers so she'll deposit those later.

Yesterday I went to have a dress altered. The seamstress picked TR up. She introduced her to the tailors and spoke in her native language. I think she was Romanian. When it was time to do the baby exchange, TR kept going back to the seamstress. I've been saying TR might be a designer or something and apparently I was correct. I guess she wants to start her training early.

We went shopping and met Mr A for an early dinner when we were done. That was fun.

Saturday and Sunday were busy as well. TR and I went shopping and I got a lovely pair of shoes. They are 4.5 inches and quite interesting. Mr A's football kids were having summer games so TR and I went to watch him coach and them play.

I've decided to redecorate. This is my inspiration and since that is our sofa, this was easy. I also got floor pillows that go with this color scheme. I love floor pillows. I had to toss a lovely set because my brother put them in my sisters garage and they mildewed. I can't be too mad. when I moved from Oakland I left everything in my house. They were left to pack and they split my stuff up.

I have to develop the vision I want for our bedroom but right now I'm thinking goldenrod. I'll expand from that. Mr A isn't a fan of red so it won't be in our room. I just know goldenrod is bright yet calm. I also want to get rid of some furniture but that will have to be discussed with Mr A because that means we have to buy more.

My dilema with buying bedroom furniture is when we buy our house we'll have to buy bedroom stuff again if the personality of the house is at odds with our furniture. or if the size of the room doesn't work for it. I'll figure something out. I might just rearrange the room. I rearrange the living room every couple of months but have left the bedroom the same since TR arrived. Furniture placement can make things new again.

that is all.

enjoy your day!

edit- My mother always rearranges furniture, as did my grandmother, which is why I do. I have other relatives and in my lifetime I have never seen the furniture move. Do you guys rearrange or leave it in place? Is there a reason?


Friday, June 12, 2009



the client that has been sending monthly checks to me since 2005 is nearly done paying me. I shall miss this regular payment and I must figure out ways to get more recurring payments without adding more work to my life. shout out to my mother for handling the collections for 4 years. I love that woman. I'd be a multi-millionaire if I had her work ethic.


right now I have 3 cases I'm starting on, plus 2 more that are at infancy stage. That is in addition to all the work I have that are toddlers and teens. Pray for me because I can deal with 1 but 3 new cases might see me hiding under the covers. I just need to stay organized and not procrastinate- too much.


this global warming is serious. I have never seen so many gloomy days in L.A. Low 70's and high 60's in June is not normal. It doesn't look like this in December in a normal world.


I have watched "why did I get married" twice in a few days. I am loving this movie. my apologies to Tyler, had I known it was good I would have gone to the movie to see it. Maybe I'll get it on dvd. It would be a great rainy day addition.

super randoms

we were at dinner one day and I noticed the rings on our mertzes. Plain silver matching bands. I told them I liiked them and then showed them ours. we wear plain silver matching bands. like us they were married in july, like us the man enjoys cooking and is a culinary artist. he brought collards sunday and actually cooked neckbones to season the greens. Mr A has the same patience and love for what he cooks. He will grill for hours and hours, he'll grill/smoke in the rain, he'll get up early to slow cook chilli.

Anyway I think its cool how much the ricardos and the mertzes have in common. He's a working writer and she's a working film ******* (maybe editor/producer?) but they don't flaunt money. No big diamonds no fancy cars. We don't flaunt either, not that we have a bunch but we are into enjoying now showing. We do have our show friends. Big body benzes and ranges, houses with more space than they could possibly use and they are lots of fun too.

have a lovely weekend,

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

It's Magic

I'm rooting for Orlando. Yes I am a native of Cali-4-nigh-a but I don't like how Lakers mangagement ran Shaq off to keep Ko-b$-@*h. As if he is the team. I don't like how Ko-b$-@*h dry-snitched* on Shaq.

Mr. A and I went to the Beverly Center on Sunday. I have been to this mall a number of times. I don't really like this mall because I can't stand the parking. The mall begins on the 6th floor and every floor below is parking.

I guess that makes sense but I don't like it. I usually opt for the Grove which is a lovely outdoor mall. The Grove and Beverly Center are probably less than a mile apart and both sit in between 3rd and Beverly. It's within walking distance with boutiques, beauty spots and cafes in the middle of them.

The number of good malls in close proximity to each other is beautiful. I'm not a shopper but even I can appreciate this blessing. If I was a shopper or a fashionista I'd probably be broke or I'd have to get a part-time job at Barney's for the discount. I'd also work out twice a day.

Usually when I hit Beverly I make a beeline for Sephora, Gymboree, Macy and sometimes For Your Love 21, maybe Estee Lauder or a shoe store.

Sunday I finally realized how humongous this mall is. Now I need to take a day and go back. Again I am not a shopper but the place is amazing and unexplored to me.

I always direct tourists to this mall if they want to spot celebrities. I always wondered why they littered the place and now I know. This is also a mall where tourists are easily identifiable. I can't explain it, you just have to go there.

I want to go shopping in NYC. I miss New York. I think NYC is the only other place in the U.S. a city girl like me can thrive in. The place excites me.

Do other folks have cities they feel a connection with and that could be home if they had to move or is that just me?

* dry-snitching- voluntarily snitching on someone
as opposed to wet-snitching- being forced to snitch and doing your best not to.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Our Mertzes

we're the ricardos, they are the Mertzes.

My cold reached its peak this weekend so I spent saturday in bed. Mr A and TR took great care of me. since I was feeling yucky Mr A cancelled the fish fry.

By Sunday afternoon I was feeling good so we went out on the town.

while I was loading up my basket with accessories, ethel (our ethel mertz) called me and asked if we wanted them to bring anything. They were already bringing mac n cheese and collards.

Like us, fred is the cook in their family. I told mr a and he told me he had texted fred that I was under-weather and we needed to reschedule.

oops on me. mr a left his phone at home the other night while he went to the neighbors so fred called and told me his phone was gone and if mr a wanted to call him,to call on ethel's phone. he also told me they would arrive at 4:15 or so.

I shared the time but not about the broken phone so mr a's text was not received.

ethel told me fred had spent the day cooking so I'm glad we didn't cancel when she called.

we got home and had a very fun evening.

its nice to have the mertzes.

edit: in other exciting news. Terry McCauliffe- former DNC chair and Hillary campaign manager mentions Mr A in his book. I feel famous.

Friday, June 5, 2009


I was inspired by the belt S30's a couple of weeks ago.

Mr A went ocean fishing and while he was out I went shopping for my f-i-l's birthday gift. I then found myself shopping for myself. Mr A had told me what to buy but I chose the colors. Mr A gave him the gift and his dad said "you know my favorite color!" Ha! I guess I'm just good.

I bought a lovely white dress and a waist belt. I have a green belt I wanted to wear with the dress.

Yesterday I was feeling fancy so I put on my never worn white dress and green belt. I packed up TR and took myself to an Ethiopian meal.

We've been to the place before and TR is usually well behaved- for a baby- at restaurants. People usually stop and comment on how mannerable she is. Yesterday she was non-stop movement. I have no idea why she was so animated.

So I ended up with kitfu on my white dress and greens from when she decided to rub her face on my shoulders.

So we get in the car and I decide to change her diaper. She stood up through the change and while the diaper was off she peed. It was a major pee and she sorta lifted a leg so the pee would not touch her leg. Then she stopped and peed some more.

I put the new diaper in, strapped her in and headed home. She fell asleep right away. When we got home I put her in her crib and tried to scan some work.

Since I was still looking somewhat cute, but a little worse for the wear I decided to leave the dress on and be cute for Mr A's arrival.

The printer would not scan because it could not detect the ink level. I opened it, took the ink out and shook the ink violently. I'm not sure why I didn't notice when the ink first started coming out but I kept shaking it.

I looked at the floor and saw ink. Then I looked at my dress and saw ink.

At least I got one wear out of the dress. Despite all that the day was good.

Mr A was home yesterday so I made breakfast in bed. Grits, eggs and sausage. Mr A got his braces off and now has a more lovely smile. We took TR to the dr and she has grown 4 inches. Then I dropped him off at his friends to watch the game.

I think mommyhood causes you to chalk some stuff up. Mr A and and I had a good laugh about the peeing in the car. I told him the seats were sparkling after I scrubbed them. Apparently a pee shine is more powerful than a spit shine.

I have a slight cold and stuffy head so this post might be senseless.

Take care,


Thursday, June 4, 2009

It's A Comeback

as a kid my church choir director once put me on the spot. she hit a chord on the organ and told me to name it. I named it.

that made me realize I have a pretty good ear. 15 or so years of various types of music should have given me something.

so last night we were listening to the radio and I hear the distinctive sounds of d'angelo singing lyrics I had not heard. I was about to be heated if someone was trying to steal his sound, but his sound is so unique- who could steal it and it not sound stolen.

I googled the lyrics and discovered that D'Angelo is back!

Mr A called me a stalker, but hey I love talent.

Last night the radio had it going on. I was trying to figure out if the d.j. was new, but I don't listen to the radio enough to know anyway.

It was D'Angelo, Maxwell, Stevie, Musiq- I just wanna know your name, and some other good, real artists.

I love love songs, I love music. I

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


I read the traditional gift for year 3 of marriage is leather. Leather because you have an idea of how durable you are.

I feel like year 3 is too early to have confronted the type of problems that could end a marriage or make married life torture. These are still the joyful days, but I do feel durable. I think my durability is a matter of trust. I trust Mr A and that impacts everything. The good memories of the past, the pleasures and success of the present and the excitement and promise of the future also makes me feel durable.

At this point I know an argument or disagreement is not the end nor is it a disaster. It's just a moment that we'll get past and grow from, be stronger as a couple.

One of our married couple friends said year 7 was the year most of their friends fell apart. They said they also had a rough time year 7, but everyone who got past is going strong. I talked to a divorced woman and she said the same thing. She got divorced year 7 and said many of her friends did but the ones that got past that are doing well.

It's good to have couple friends and its great to have fairly young ones. It's amazing to realize others are having the same issues you are or had them and worked things out.

So maybe I'll spend the weeks up until our anniversary with some of my observations. Not from my own marriage since my marriage is not for reality entertainment , but just from different stuff.

when will people realize that Ozzie and sharon are the only married couple that can do a reality show and last? Lets looks at the folks, Carmen and Dave Navaro, Jessica and Nick, Kate with those 8 kids and her husband, the Hogans, Shana Moklar and that drummer she married.

Observation: if you want to stay married, don't do a reality show. If you want publicity, get married and do a reality t.v. show but your fame will likely fade once the marriage is dead.

Monday, June 1, 2009

that list

I wish I could find my list. the list I wrote carefully and with great consideration over nearly 10 years of dating. I usually only wrote in it after a bad situation. It took a bad one to know what I wanted and did not want. The list is in a notebook somewhere. I put the book away when I met Mr A. He was everything on my list and MORE. I knew I could stop when I met him. He had attributes I didn't even know to ask for.

I appreciate the bad dating situations more than the nice ones. The bad ones made me see what bad was and know what I needed and wanted. The nice ones were mostly boring. It took the bad ones for to me recognize I wanted excitement, passion and a man I got along with and whose character I liked.

My listed included stuff I am definitely not. I wanted a patient man. I am not patient at all but what sense would it make for two impatient people to tie up? That is asking for problems.

I wanted a mate that was big enough and strong enough to withstand the force of me throwing myself at him as he comes through the door. I'm not sure when I put that on my list- probably after dating a skinny dude. Clearly I had an idea that I wanted to have the ability to stay home, since he'd be coming through the door and I'd be home. It just wasn't a fully formed idea.

I later put on my list a man who was cool with working wife or a stay at home wife. Why marry someone if you don't want to support them?

The list had a man who could cook. Mr A loves to cook. Since I didn't really cook it would have been foolish to date a man that couldn't cook either. We'd either starve or be fat and unhealthy eating takeout. Or we'd have to suffer through as my mother walked me through meal instructions. Mr A's dad loves to cook too. We were over there Sunday and he made a delicious squash casserole with sauteed shrimp. He came by last month and made marinade for prime rib. It was so good. The A men do not play with the cooking. At Thanksgiving one year, the A men- his paternal cousins included made all sorts of amazing food. I am abundantly blessed woman.

The dilemma with a man who cooks, is when I cook he expects good meals. Ain't no half-stepping. A non-cooking man would probably be satisfied with a piece of bread, some frozen veggies and a piece of meat. The A family eats like someone's grandmother lives here.

Anyway maybe I'll recreate the list in my head.

My list did include non-smoking. Mr. A smoked when we met, fortunately I didn't know that. It would have been awful to ex out the man who exceeded my enormous expectations for a mate over a habit that could be quit.

Anyway I've been reading blogs that say a woman is wrong to be a 6 and want a 9.
I disagree. I'm not calling myself a 6 - I'm not numbering myself at all- but why would a woman not want to marry up?

I think its dumb to marry yourself or to be looking for folks that have what you have. I have a house so I'm only marrying a man with a house- is such a nutty strategy. No silly, men are not women. If you move into a man's house it is yours. If a man moves into a woman's house she will hate the man because its hers and she feels like he moved in-even if he pays the note. If the woman has a house she can rent it out, use the money for her shopping, will it to the kids or whatever, then the couple can get one together. If the man has a house, move in and relax.

I think a bunch of the behavior in dating is silly. I think all these rules and strategies are counterproductive. What is with all the overanalyzing of you are not perfect so you don't get a perfect man. Get yourself perfect and then he will come. What happened to getting the person whose strengths are your weaknesses and vice versa? That way together you are a powerhouse.

I'm a sexist and a femmenazi and I didn't date much so my dating knowledge is limited.

But here is a tip for the SAHW/M's.

Sometimes when your hubby comes home, its nice to put on a pretty dress and perfume. When he comes through the door, he'll know you got dressed just for him. Then he will undress you! :)

The Boutique

My firm is a boutique firm.

My primary work is Civil Rights, education, employment, etc. I do real estate which gets a bit broad. I do tax and estate planning. I've done criminal. My first jury trial was a criminal matter. Members of the jury cried when I was done with my closing and they cried when they returned their not guilty verdict. I fake cried. I didn't want to disappoint them and make them think I was not sincere or appreciative.

I like trial. I never thought I'be be a litigator but I am. I didn't even know what litigator meant until law school.

So my strategy is to take a limited number of clients. Its not really a number but more a work load. For special ed stuff, my stated strategy has been to take a new client after I have concluded one.

This works if there is a new client and so far there is always a client for me to accept or reject. I know this is God's blessing on me because I barely advertise. I don't have a website and I'm not out marketing my services. My biggest goal is to have checks every month- I love my work but I do it for the money. Since gov'ts do that 30+ business days timelines I can make many thousands in a month but recieve 0 in that same month. The regular checks requires me to time stuff and consistently close cases.

Recently I got a referral from former opposing counsel. This has happened before. It's good when your opposition thinks you did well enough that they remember and refer you.

I just need to organize better and I'll be able to increase my client load and income. It's great to command your income and I do. Its great to get paid too. Money owed but not had does not excite me. I'll update you on how it goes. I'd love to put a chart up but I have no idea how that works.

The friend of my cousin's best friend has a child who is a commercial actor. I'm going to meet with her to find out how I go about getting TR work. Mr A and I are willing to let her work while she's a babe. Once she's old enough to be recognized or to recognize what she's doing we'll retire her.

and to all who think children should not work, make sure you don't put your own kids to work. I direct any person that resided in my womb until they are old enough to direct themself. You do the same with your womb or your sperm.