Saturday, May 30, 2009

Cheaters

I'm watching a Hills Marathon. Heidi went to the bar to tell Stacey to leave Spencer alone. Then Heidi told Spencer that she took care of the girl.

I thought that was stupid. I realize this is scripted but its still stupid.

Once the woman confronts the other woman, the other woman gains power. She knows your man is up for grabs and that you think she is a threat. I think confronting the man is a mess as well. Some men want/need the woman to be jealous and attack other women.

Many many years ago my big mom told me the story of the woman who called her home asking to speak to her husband. Big mom said she told the woman okay and when my grandfather got him she didn't fuss or give him the message. She said if she had fussed then he would know the woman called and that was what the woman wanted. If she had fussed at the woman the woman would have thought Big Mom was worried about her.

I think a lot of fighting women do is not over the man, its about the competition and not wanting to feel the man prefers another woman.

Its not even reasonable to fight for a man who is pursuing another woman while saying he is with you. Who wants to win a cheater?

I'm on my way to do a bit of shopping.

Have a lovely weekend.

AMES

Friday, May 29, 2009

Money Matters

For some reason I am either all or nothing. I'm either a workaholic or a procrastinator supreme. I need to pace myself but I operate on enthusiasm.

I have a list of planned summer activites: swimming for TR, a francophone playgroup (this requires Mr A more than me since he took French), beach bumming and when TR is at her granny's sewing, Pilates Plus, samba, salsa, and wine classes. There is more but I can't think of it all.

I was discussing that Mr A and his friends (the group he has had since they were kiddies) have open financial discussions. They know what the others earn, they know how they earn it, know expenses and they know the struggles and the successes. They know the real deal and they know each others goals. I mentioned that we talk about this stuff over dinner and other get togethers. I don't see the need to keep money secret from friends who aren't trying to borrow.

Someone said this information is marital business and should be kept private. Then someone said only 'us' keep money stuff secret. Other groups talk about it and are a resource of information to each other. Most of Mr A's childhood friends are tied up, so we go to dinner or outings and the men have real conversations. So the women do too.

My family on both sides are open about money. No secrets, no pretense.

Your learning increases when people aren't all cloak and dagger.
I think having a supportive network is beneficial.

I do think some stuff is personal and private. But money is just a means of access, its nothing that speaks to who I am.

Last week my mom, TR and I went to Rasputins. I saw an Audrey Hepburn set with Sabrina, Breakfast at Tiffany and Roman Holiday. I didn't get it but now I want it. I'll send Mr A off to hang out and I can have a day with Audrey and Sanaa and snacks.

I also think I found a new Chick Lit author. I can read while I'm beach bumming this summer.


Muah

AMES

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

3 Fierce Chicks- The Enemy

Tonight was a meeting with our government client. My gf picked me up and we headed across the bridge (one of the many bridges). I guess I'll need a fast track if I'm going to be traveling across bridges on a somewhat regular basis.

We were there all cute and ready to be adored and then members of the community arrived and went on attack. They called us a "fleet" of attorneys.

We aren't a fleet but the county awarded the contract to two firms. One firm had 2 white men in suits and our group was 3 black womem in dresses. I guess that looked like an attack.

I realized that since our client is the government, that makes us the enemy of the public. Amazing how that works. Someone had the nerve to ask who is paying us. I guess they forgot that they get subsidies on everything and whoever is paying us, it AIN'T them.

One woman started acting crazy and said "ya'll may have degrees to your name but I've got JESUS!" I guess she figures Jesus abandons degree holders. Folks are so nutty. We just looked at them- arguing has no benefit to anyone.

The meeting was long and I started thibking about getting home to hold TR. When I hit the door to my mom's house she gave me a huge smile. Mommyhood is exhausting but it is pure joy. I'll take the exhaustion of mommyhood over the enjoyment of work everyday. A smile and a hug feels like bliss.

I'm leaving TR in the bay and Mr A and I are going to enjoy each other for a few days.

I haven't kept up with American Idol but the announcement of the winner seemed so dull. I think Fantasia was the last I watched win but that was an exciting moment. She looked excited and sang like she was happy to have won.

Happy Memorial Day!

AMES

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

So Excited

There is a pilates studio near us and I'm going to sign up for the monthly membership. They are supposed to have some amazing equipment that gets fast results. I'm going to whip this body into shape ASAP. I considered doing Bikram yoga again, because that got my body looking fab and it was low impact, but I've been hearing about how pilates promotes that dancer's physique so I'm going to see how that does my body.

TR and I are almost ready to start our swim lessons, so my summer will be spent with me rocking a natural.

My goal is to be a good looking mommy. Not a woman whose belly announces to the world that 'I make people'.

The plan for today is to hit the bank. I'm not sure if I'll go to the nearby one or take a stroll to the one in the village. I probably won't know until I get outside.

In business news, my former business partner and I partnered up and won a contract with a bay area city. We already have 46 cases with this city. The contract is for a set amount of money a year, so basically we work up until that money is spent.

In other news I just settled a case. Whoo hoo! It always feels great to settle stuff and still be in the bed. My home is my office. I might walk to the village, settlement always adds some energy to my body.

TR just woke up, so we'll be getting up and heading out. I have a bit of work to do so I need to get out so I can get back and get it done. I'm pleased to say that money no longer kills my desire to work. I also need to wash a few dishes. we desperately need a daily housekeeper.

TR has been rising at 6:30 a.m. My schedule was awake at 7:30 drink milk and sleep until breakfast at 8. I'm trying to decide if I should go with this 6:30 thing, but I fear she'll try to start her day even earlier, or if I should fight to stick with my 8 a.m. schedule.

Be great,

AMES

Monday, May 18, 2009

Home Home on the range

TR's paternal gramps brought her a jumping device for her birthday. Mr A and I are in love with this gift. It certainly changed my day. TR loves to jump and now she can do it freely.

It was so funny watching her watch the adults jump up and down and be goofy in the name of watching her jump. She quit jumping and looked at her daddy, gramps and step-grandmother like they had lost it.

The A family looked at a few open houses on Sunday. The neighborhoods we've looked at are still appreciating. I checked zillow and the house I didn't want to leave had gone up $16k in the past 30 days. The real estate crash may not have brought prices down in the areas we want, but I think its kept those prices in check.

Kids have slightly modified what I want in a house. We still want an older home that is Spanish style, with a patio off the master, but placement of kids rooms and windows are now important.

People destroyed a lot of the architecture of the older Spanish style houses and it can be frustrating looking at the attempts to modernize true design. I think its like plastic surgery. Once you jack up the integrity of a face reclaiming the former charm is near impossible.

We looked at a Spanish style a year ago and I was thinking it was nice and I noticed the converted garage. I asked where the driveway was and learned the owner or maybe the person with the purpose of remodeling and flipping had built onto the drive. Life is much easier with a driveway.

My list of requirements has increased, but that's a good thing. Now that banks have stopped giving away money its calmed things down and put realism back into the market.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Let Us Pray

Some days ago I was saying that I want to remain in God's Perfect Will. I don't want to shift or exist in His permissive will and I don't want to be out of His will.

Then something unexpected occurred and if I could change it, I would. But perhaps it was not in His will for me. If I was running things I would never have given it and taken it away. Not sure why that type of torture occurs.

Am I to learn from this? I'm trying to see the lesson. Had I grown insensitive to others? I thought I was sensitive but maybe not. Maybe my heart needed a kick? I don't know, but if the kick was for me others were impacted and how does that work?

Why punish them for my lesson? If I could make decisions with knowledge of future consequences it would make life so peaceful. At least I think it would. But I have to live today and try to do things and pray it is within the will of God, so I don't jack up my life or those who stand close enough to get hit by shrapnel from the fall out of my choices.

I don't know if I can ever be the same?!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Stuff

My brother paid me a check for some admin work I did for his business. It was a small amount but I figured I'd have some fun with it.

My mom called and told me he'd given the check to her, and made it out to me. She then said she didn't know why he'd done that. I was momentarily confused and thought maybe the check was for TR's birthday.

By the end of the conversation, she told me I didn't need the money and that she wanted to get TR a CD and once she had $1000 saved she would. I went to the bank and withdrew the amount my brother had paid me, plus TR's piggy bank funds and put it in TR's account.

She should have her CD in a few months. She does quite well for an unemployed baby. My mom and aunt write her checks and her piggy bank collects all coins Mr A takes out of his pockets and puts on the dressers. That spare change adds up. I'm going to look into getting her a job so she can really build some funds.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

sooooo

The day was lovely- well most of it.

TR took a nap that made me think she has a night job. I napped with her. My plan had been to pick up a few items for her b-day but she didn't wake until nearly 3. When we were done eating it was close to 4.

We tried to go see Mr A coach but he didn't answer his phone until 10 or so minutes before he was done. By the time we got to the field the kids were wrapping up.

I went shopping and got back home around 6:30 or so.

Mr A was on some trip when I got home. He asked me where her gift was and said I like gifts on my birthday. NOOOOO, he likes gifts on his birthday. That is his steelo. I guess a cake and a card wasn't enough for TR in his opinion. Since I was trying to enjoy my babe's day, I took her and went to get Japanese. I was thoughtful enough to get him a rainbow roll, which he didn't eat and didn't even have the courtesy to put in the fridge. It's currently on the counter rotting.

I find that type of stuff offensive. I remember (years ago) my neighbors daughter was upset with her mother. The mom had made the girl a steak for dinner. The daughter dumped the entire plate in the trash. Mr A's action emits the same type of vibe.

TR ate her ice cream cake and enjoyed it immensely. She was too busy eating it to play in it. After eating her cake, she had a quick bath, we hung out a bit and Mr A put her to bed.

Mr A informed me that he is very upset with me but is going to enjoy TR's birthday. Hope he isn't in the mood to talk tomorrow because I might not have anything to say to him until next week.

Monday, May 11, 2009

I'm the Momma

Last year I spent Mother's Day in the hospital protesting the early arrival of TR. I wanted her to cook more.

She didn't make her appearance until after Mother's Day, so this year was my first with a kid occupying her own space.

It was great. It was like Christmas and my Birthday and Valentine Day all in one.

On Saturday TR and I went to watch Mr. A coach the kids. TR got out there and helped. She was yelling at the kids and waving her hands around with her dad. The weather was gorgeous.

We went to the mall and I got to hang out by myself while the two of them shopped. I got my gifts when I got home. TR gave me two new tops and she got herself two tops to match mine. Mr A said she chose those out of the options he gave her. She also gave me an ice cream bar. My favorite flavor. We were able to match outfits at church on Sunday.


She loves to dress like me. On Saturday I wore blue jeans a white v-neck and my pink and green Ed Hardy hat. She wore the same thing and her pink and green army fatigue baseball hat.

Mr A gave me a perfume and the lotion. He knows the scents I love.

Sunday was church and afterwards Mr A grilled bacon wrapped filet mignon. It was so perfectly cooked. He wrapped the bacon so perfectly it was almost unreal. He made rice pilaf, grilled shrimp skewers and a salad laced with avocado. I love avocado. He made a fruity drink for me.

It was a great day.

My mom also sent me a card and a check. TR sent it with her. TR is so generous.

TR and I have been getting out. we've had Ethiopian for lunch and then we went out for breakfast on Friday and just had a day in traffic. She is the perfect lunch/brunch companion.

She is always down to go. My little road baby.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Tuesday

I think today is Tuesday. Things are becoming a blur. TR and I spent the day in bed yesterday. I was tired.

Mr A came home early and we got our free grilled chicken and got in traffic. We ended up at the Santa Monica beach. It was so beautiful. I go over there for the Farmers Market or the Promenade but never cross the street to the beach. TR seemed to enjoy herself too.

I could enjoy life on a beach if it was always hot. Some of the houses were so lovely. They had outdoor kitchen patios overlooking the ocean.

I usually avoid the beach but I think I got the bug. I can see myself laid out this summer. I'll still keep my swimming to pulls but the beach atmosphere is too refreshing to avoid.

I think a lifetime near the beach caused me not to appreciate it. There are countless occasions I drive by them but never park my car. I like looking at the water but have never felt drawn to go hang out by it. Now I'm looking forward to planting my feet in some sand, people watching and utilizing TR's sand kit.

The beach also made me feel young. Maybe it was the breeze and realizing how deep and wide and old and mysterious the ocean is.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

We made it

TR and I made it to the village yesterday. By the time we got over there I knew there was little hope of me making it back home. I'm so out of shape and usually Mr A makes the walk with me and that makes the time go faster.

Fortunately he was done with work around the time I figured out, I needed a ride home and he picked us up. Good thing he was working near home.

We had fun and I had more energy when we got back home.

I had a meeting this afternoon but the attorney needed to reschedule so I got back in bed around 9. I feel like it bought me more time.

The guy who does work for me in the Bay has the flu. I needed some papers filed right away and he is home sick. Oh the dilemma. I could get someone else to file it but he knows how to get the stuff done so I prefer him.

Sometimes the clerks will say stuff that might not be so correct and other people will walk away. My other option is to ask my attorney friend, who is really my cousins friend, to handle the paperwork. I'm doing this job for free and I don't like to ask other attorneys to do free work because unless you have a personal interest, it a drain.

TR is up from her nap so I must go.

Peace

AMES

edit: That walk might get canceled. The stroller is in the trunk

Monday, May 4, 2009

Monday- My day

I worked like an engine this morning. My goal was to be out by 1 p.m. It's almost 1:30 and I need a nap. We'll still take our walk but it won't be as leisurely.

I had considered sitting down for lunch while we walked but if I do that won't be as leisurely either.

Things were moving on pace but then I had to send a large fax and got slowed down. I am looking forward to getting a big Canon fax/copier/printer. I don't typically need to fax things from the fax machine because I send and receive from my computer. I don't typically print either because the courts I frequent do efile or fax file. But the times printing and faxing are necessary, its good to have fast equipment.

The house is a mini-disaster. TR has cracker crumbs on the floor and the breakfast and late night snack dishes are dirty. Dinner isn't near prepared but this nap and this walk are going to happen.

enjoy your day

AMES

Friday, May 1, 2009

friday

we got back on our usual schedule today.

TR did her early morning wakeup, played with her daddy, I gave her juice and she went back to sleep.

I showered, made the bed and got presentable, not fancy but presentable to open the door or take a walk.

8 a.m. we had our breakfast, I did a little work and TR practiced her walk.

It's almost 11:30 but I can't really remember the timing of everything.

I made phone calls, we ate again, TR had a couple of naps, I watched the Danity Kane Rise and Fall and Taking the Stage. Now I'm watching Y&R, but I might fall asleep on this. Clearly I need to turn the t.v. off.

I usually only watch the View Hot Topics, Y&R and Oprah in the daytime.

My goal is to have the chicken seasoned by 1 and maybe TR and I will make it to Larchmont today. It looks gloomy but it's supposed to be 70 today. I hope the sun shines today.

I wish my mom lived closer. It's Friday and kids are supposed to be at their grandparents on weekends. At least that's where I spent a big chunk of my weekends growing up. I remember being 3 or 4 and on Sunday morning my mom would come to my grandparents house with our clothes, she'd get us bathed and dressed and then she would go on to church. We'd all meet up at church later.

My grandmother would finish putting on her jewelry and makeup in the car as my gramps drove. I guess my mom knew if my grams had to get 4 kids ready too, her parents would never get to church.