Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Day

I awoke this morning with the intention of tracking my day. This decision caused me to be a bit more efficient with my time.

I think the man thinks I'm extra lazy these days. I acknowledge being lazy but not to excess. Its a lot to take care of, stimulate and entertain a baby. I don't like the idea of putting her in her play pen and just letting her play. I try to engage her and let her know she has my attention. I try to maintain a language rich environment and talk to her. It's not easy having a sensible conversation with someone who can only replies with limited words. I do like to see her excitement as we're conversing. My mom told me not to use baby talk so while our conversations might be silly, they are silly with real language. Then I have to avoid slang, use proper grammar and enunciate. I want my babe to be able to code switch but her first language needs to be kings english which means I have to stay in that mode.

The queen was kind enough to sleep until 9 this morning. That meant I also got to sleep until 9.

9:15, prepared breakfast, made bed, personal grooming

9:30-10, we ate breakfast, talked, watched the view

10-10:30, TR walked the floor a bit, once she fell she played with the table.

10:30- 10:40 I washed dishes

10:40- 11- gave TR a biscuit, put her in her walker, made phone calls, did a bit of work

11:15 TR got a bath, we got dressed.

11:30 nap time for TR, Y&R for me, phone call with my mom, check email and blogs

12:30 TR is napping

My goal is to take a walk to Larchmont and maybe sit down for lunch. at the least we'll walk by the park. swine flu has me staying off the equipment.

I'd also like to make dinner but I'm not sure that will happen. I want to do tuna cassrole but I don't think I've got tuna. I'll get the step ladder and look because I know I try to keep it.

I need to finish some work and send out some mail.

I need to fold this laundry.

I'll update later.


Tr slept until 2 and I rested. I made lunch when she awoke. We tried to watch Oprah but I wasn't interested. I folded the laundry, rearranged the furniture and by that time it was around 5. TR and I went for a walk.

Mr A got home, took TR to the bank and I went to the grocery store.

I have not been there in a couple months and I enjoyed myself.

It's 8 and TR is again sleep.

I'll track it tomorrow and see how it goes. I know I'm losing some efficiency somewhere.

I also realize that 9 a.m. is too late to start the day. I looked up and it was 2. I need to get back to 7 and that way by 12, I feel like my day was productive and I have time to kill.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

What I Want part 3

An immaculate home. That's what I want.

I was tracking down leads on a housekeeper and then 'swine flu'. I'm less than 2 hours from Mexico and I know the Mexicans are always down there. The college kids go to TJ and beyond to go to bars and get drinks for cheap.

It's risky enough just living here and asking a native to come clean would surely increase the risk.

I guess this means I'll have to find someone of another descent or clean myself.

Terrible dilemma.

What I Want part 2

I haven't had office space since 2005.

I distinctly recall thinking that I didn't need it, since I rarely had a need to meet with clients. Every now and then I pass a for lease sign and consider checking.

I think working from an office can be more productive than working from home. The difference is at the office my goal is to get out. If I am home there is always time to do what I want now and get the work done later.

It's nutty that I'd spend $1000 plus dollars of space instead of just focusing at home.

The best thing about my prior space was that my building was across the street from my brother's building. His job would have lunch each week so I'd always go join them, he and I would meet or lunch or to hang out. Although my business partner got on my nerves it was nice having someone to talk to and run ideas by. We also had a fun time in the office.

Prior to joining with her I shared space with my father. He was never there and it was very lonely. I would prefer to have someone to share space with. I also want it close to home. We live smack in the middle of the L.A. business district so that's not hard. There is actually a building in walking distance, maybe I'll check.

Monday, April 27, 2009

What I Want part 1

I've been keeping my eyes open for a new spot but am realizing our rent is pretty low. It's low for L.A. and very good for the neighborhood we are in. It's lower than the mortgage we had when we got married.

What we pay in (new reduced) rent would be a mortgage in the $300k range. Of course there are no homes in L.A. in the 300ks, and if there are we don't want to live in it.

When we lived in the house I wanted to start newlywed life small and cute. I envisioned a cute apartment or condo. I also suggested we live in the guest house. The house seemed to be too much for just the two of us. I think I went in the backyard maybe 3 times and walked on the front lawn, never. I watched as the gardeners did their thing, opened the door to hand them the check and that was my total interaction with the 'grounds'.

I grew up with a large yard and would go out there to play all the time. But as an adult, except for outdoor parties I didn't see a use for lots of yard. I saw bills and time spent on yard men.

I recently suggested we buy a foreclosure or rescue a home in default. Mr A says we need to save more. He pointed out how low our expenses are and what they would be if in a house.

I respect his opinion. Although I take full credit for us not buying after we got married, I admit that I was looking. He said to wait because prices were going to come down, foreclosures would be occurring and we'd be able to get deals.

I still comment on how upset I'd be if we had bought only to discover your neighbor got in for drastically lower amount a couple of years later. That has got to hurt.

I also take credit for us being one income but he is the one who said he never wanted us to live a life that required two incomes or a huge chunk of one.

Because his past decisions have been right on, I tend to get on board with him.

There is always something to want and I'm making a list.

Ick, Sick, Yuck

I tell you mommyhood has mellowed me. Or maybe its age.

I used to enjoy a good blog spat. Now it just gives me a chest ick. It makes me nauseous. I gave up frenemies because its silly to purposely keep problems. Problems find people, people don't need to look for them.

I still enjoy debate but don't need nasty as part of the interaction. It's bothersome to visit a blog expecting a little entertainment and find yourself in the midst of meaness and nastiness.

I currently exist in a world where no one brings me their garbage. I like to think its because I am not a trash can. Some people want to know everything bad about someone else because they like to hold garbage.

I'm just amazed that someone can maintain their nasty year after year. That's a lot of energy.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


My Lent sacrifice was to release bitterness. It went well. I spent those days focusing on good things and not people/things that annoy me.

I determined to release frenemies. Mutual friends make frenemies tricky because I don't want things to be awkward for the mutual friends. My strategy is to not mention it.

I am fully grown, I am a mother and realized that its silly to remain in contact with people just because I of past associations. Its silly to upset myself and bite my tongue to maintain peace. It's simple to politely be gone.

Sometimes when I ponder something, I will think "I am a mother" and that changes my entire outlook. I've got someone to raise and who will see my behavior as a guide. I can't be involved in silly stuff.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


I met Mr. A in Jan 2004 and we were dating in Sept/Oct 2004. I am discovering that the landscape of dating has changed. Texting was not a form of communication back then. We didn't IM and I don't think that was so normal then either. Being on the computer all day outside of work wasn't usual. People still got together to socialize.

Online social networking as an online strategy didn't exist to me. There was blackpanet but I never knew anyone getting divorced over such sites.

I guess this change is similar to how in my mothers day men came to your parents home to court you. Now people think you have failed if you are single and live at home and they do not want a date to meet their parents too soon, if at all.

I wonder what dating will look like when my kids are doing it.

I actually think the idea that something is wrong with an adult child at home is what has led to a debt ridden generation.

My mom lived at home until she married. She had graduated college, was teaching and had accumulated substantial savings. Her paycheck didn't go to housing. When my parents divorced she was financially able to support her family and own a house without a mortgage.

When I encountered the people who wanted to speak on my living with my mother I informed them that I didn't have a lifestyle that made me need to move. I wasn't sleeping with men and did not need that type of privacy or freedom.

I credit my ability to live at home as a great part of why I am able to be self employed now.

Back to dating...... I guess the major principles of dating are the same but how do you get to them in an online, impersonal but not understanding its impersonal online world?

Back to Life

It's been a whirlwind the last few weeks.

We dropped TR off in Oakland and I stayed to get some Bay Area work done. I had to go to court in S.F. and exhausted myself on the bus and bart. I dislike the underwater portion of Bart. I live in earthquake country and the idea of the tunnel cracking and ........ you get the idea.

We took the train to Bakersfield- we being my mom, TR and myself- because they were spending a few days with my mom's aunt. The Mr picked me up in Bakersfield and we headed back to L.A.

We had a fun week, the first couple of days without TR were manageable but by Thursday I was contemplating getting on a plane just to kiss her. We spent the entire week doing couple stuff and stuff with couple friends. By Friday I was so exhausted I had to rest in bed.

Mr A headed out on an ocean fishing trip but the boat had to turn around because the 15 foot waves would have made the fishing unenjoyable. His group will reschedule. We were really looking forward to the fish. I am yearning for that tuna.

We headed out to the Bay a little earlier than expected due to the fishing trip cancellation and got back to the Queen- aka TR. I don't think she missed us like we missed her.

I guess that is how it will be once she goes to college. She won't even look back.
Babies grow so very fast so I'm trying to enjoy my kid(s) all I can while they are young enough to let me enjoy them.